Index
Are you looking for answers to a specific question or problem? This Index will help you find answers to all your questions. It's like having your own personal coach 24/7.
How to Use the Index
This Index covers thousands of topics found in Written Answers, Video Answers, and Conference Calls on this site AND every Real Love book, the Daily Coaching Videos and Blogs found on RealLove.com.
How can you use it? Let’s look at an example:
Your child is being irresponsible, or angry, or whatever. What can you do? Click on the P below and go to Parenting. Or click on A to find references to Anger, or R for references on Responsibility. You’ll discover a great many sub-headings that will get your interest.
Index Legend
- B = Blog, RealLove.com site, for example, B19Sep12 means blog from 19 Sep 2012
- BP = Blog, parenting site, BP08Aug19 means blog (Written Answers) in parenting site posted 08 Aug 2019
- BWB = Essentials of Real Love Bible Workbook
- CC= Conference call, Parenting site, CC08Aug19 means Call posted 08 Aug 2019
- DC = Daily Coaching Videos, RealLove.com site, 1 - 505
- EWB = Essentials of Real Love Workbook
- PCSD = Post Childhood Stress Disorder
- RL = The book, Real Love
- RLD = Real Love in Dating
- RLM = The book, Real Love in Marriage
- RLP = Real Love in Parenting
- RLV= Real Love and Freedom for the Soul (Victimhood)
- RLW= Real Love in the Workplac
- RLWM = Real Love for Wise Men and Women
- VP = Video, parenting site, VP08Aug19 means video, parenting site, posted 08 Aug 201
Note: all the page numbers for the books refer to the hard copies of the book, not to location numbers in Kindle books.
A & numbers
1952, study, VP18Oct21
A Few Good Men, movie, BP11Feb21
A thousand paper cuts, dying from, VP08Jun20
Acceptance, key to happiness, BP31Dec20
Accountability, and freedom, BP11Mar21
Act, don’t try to control outcomes, CC26Aug20
Action:
just take, BP24Oct19
required, BP08Oct20
taking verses complaining, CC13Jan21
truth over words, CC13Jan21
Activities with children:
generating, CC01Jul20
initiating, CC01Jul20
Addiction:
beginning, BP26Aug21
cause, BP09Jan20
cure, BP20Aug20
cure rate poor, BP02Apr20
effects, BP25Feb21
how, BP09Jan20
identifying, BP25Feb21
not feeding, CC13Nov19
preventing, BP25Feb21
stopping, BP25Feb21
why, BP20Aug20
ADHD:
diagnosis not possible without Real Love, CC09Jun21
label can be damaging, CC16Dec20
over-diagnosed, VP16Aug21
signs, symptoms, and solutions BP20May19, video format
symptoms same as emotional pain, CC29Jan20, CC09Jun21
Adult Child:
accepting, effect of, CC12Aug20
bullying of, CC08Jul20
co-signing loan for, CC08Jan20
deciding when to evict, CC10Jun20, CC17Jun20
not speaking to you, CC11Dec19
responding to, CC11Dec19
responding to bad behavior in, CC17Jun20
responding to anger in, VP21Jun21
responsibility in, VP21Jun21
consequences with, CC17Jun20
saying no to, CC25Mar20
teaching, CC14Jul21, BP02Dec21
victim, VP01Feb21
Adult Children:
advice to, CC06Jan21
bullying, CC06Jan21
conflict between, CC24Feb21
consequences with, CC21Apr21
correcting, CC25Nov20
decision to throw out of house, CC02Sep20
difficult, BP15Apr21
disapproval fo not helpful, CC29Jul20
drugs, CC03Mar21
enabling, CC03Mar21
estranged, BP28May20
estranged, talking to, CC30Sep20
evicting, CC03Mar21, CC10Mar21, CC14Apr21
finances and, BP15Apr21
gifts for, CC17Mar21
giving money to, CC18Aug21
influencing, CC01Jul20
initial truth-telling to, CC03Jun20
leaving home, CC14Apr21
living at home, CC03Mar21
loving not teaching, CC25Nov20
loving, rewards in, CC25Nov20
loving parents, CC16Oct19
lovingandteaching, CC13Nov19
not communicating, CC04Dec19
not saving, CC21Apr21
not thrown away after eviction, CC02Sep20
one-on-one time with, CC24Feb21
paying rent, CC03Mar21
persistence with, CC24Feb21
phone restrictions with, CC25Mar20
preparing to leave, CC24Jun20
refusing contact with parents, BP28May20
refusing permission to come home sometimes, CC25Nov20
repairing relationships with, BP15Apr21
responding to, CC02Sep20, CC18Aug21
responding to anger and withdrawal, CC13Nov19
responding to lack of communication from, CC18Dec19
rules with, CC05Feb20
teaching, CC22Jan20, CC05Feb20, CC06Jan21, BP02Dec21
teaching about independence, CC28Jul21
teaching confidence to, CC28Jul21
teaching how to parent, CC27Jan21
teaching them about their children, CC29Jul20
telling truth to/with, CC26Aug20, CC03Feb21
trusting, CC19Aug20
victimhood in, CC25Nov20, CC03Feb21
Advice:
unwanted, CC06Jan21
when to give, CC20Nov19, CC08Jan20
Affection, forcing, CC15Apr20
Affirmations, use of, CC04Nov20, VP12Apr21
Afflictions, growth from, BP02Sep21
Age:
important in loving and teaching, BP05Nov20
matters when loving and teaching, BP16Jan20
Agreements, changing with circumstances, CC21Apr21
Aggressiveness, child responding to, VP17Aug20
Alarm clock, excuses with, CC04Mar20
Alcohol:
cost in society, VP09Mar20
danger of, VP09Mar20
keep children from effects of, CC29Apr20
parents, CC12Aug20
All in, meaning of, BP24Dec20
Analyzing, unproductive BP24Oct19
Anger (angry):
calling another adult when parent feels, RLP 114-16, RLP 128-32, RLP 174, RLP 283
causes for in parents, RLP 66-72
children perceive in three circumstances, CC19Aug20
children responding to that of others, VP20Sep21
children sense ours, CC29Jul20
children speaking up when parents use, VP31Aug20
confused with busyness or denial of demand, CC12Aug20
dangers of, CC15Apr20
effects of on children, B01Jun11, CC16Sep20, RLP 10-13, RLP 58-64, RLP 66, RLP 94
examples of parent, RLP46, RLP142-4
five steps to respond to, RLP90-2, RLP114-6, RLP119-20, RLP174, RLW 110-12
helping child express to spouse , CC17Feb21
in child, responding to, CC15Apr20
listening to child in, CC19Feb20
misconceptions of, CC19Aug20
must be discussed, CC04Dec19
never express to child, CC18Dec19
not caused by others, VP06Jul20
of parents makes them co-combatants with their children, CC16Sep20
others don’t make you, CC02Dec20
parents feel accused when child, RLWM 171
parents use to control children, RLP85-6, RLP206-7
peanut allergy and, B14May14
prison of, B06Oct06, RLM 45-6, BWB192-3, BWB 273-4, BWB375, BWB454, B12Jan18
responding to, CC11Nov20
responding to child in, CC19Feb20
unfocused unacceptable, B14Oct15, B27Oct17
unloving, VP25Jan21
useless, BP03Sep20
why sometimes misunderstood, BP06Aug20
zero tolerance, B22Jun16
zero tolerance for, B10Oct12, B14May14, B05Dec14, B19Dec14, B12Oct15
Answering questions, give sincere response, CC30Oct19
Aphorisms, using, VP12Apr21
Apologizing, when not to, CC25Mar20
Apology, usually meaningless, VP18Jan21
Appearance:
addiction to, VP29Nov21
objectifying, BP05Dec19
Approval:
addiction to, VP29Nov21
buying, VP01Nov21
earning, VP29Nov21
steals sense of worth, VP01Nov21
work, VP01Nov21
Approval seeking, teaching children about, CC29Jul20
Arguing:
children, stopping, CC19Aug20
responding to, VP02Nov20
stopping, VP27Apr20
stopping, examples, VP27Apr20
Asking, for love, BP01Apr21
Attention, child vying for, CC16Dec20
Attention seeking, responding to, CC13Jan21
Attention span, shorter, BP30Jan20
Attitude:
addressing, CC21Apr21
bad, responding to, CC29Jan20
changing, VP18Jan21
changing is success, CC27Oct20
changing the goal, not just behavior change, CC02Dec20
consequence immediately, CC02Dec20
eliminating early, BP15Jul21
end result of loving and teaching, CC27Oct20
more important than compliance, CC31Mar21
negative, must be addressed, CC08Apr20
negative, responding to in child, CC19Feb20
responding to, CC09Oct19
unacceptable, definition of, CC18Dec19
Attracting children, how, CC24Jun20
Attraction, sexual, VP29Nov21
Attractive:
arbitrary, VP29Nov21
meaning of, VP29Nov21
Autism:
often cured with love, CC06Jan21
used as excuse, CC02Dec20
Avoid bad behavior, don’t, BP11Jun20
Avoiding:
behavior, don’t focus on, VP13Jul20
Aware, of influence of everything in our children’s lives, BP23Jul20
Awareness:
creates useful experiences, BP24Sep20
importance of in parenting, CC03Jun20, VP11Jan21, BP15Jul21, BP18Nov21
need for, BP14Jan21
of dangers, BP26Aug21
of world, teaching to children, BP03Dec20
poor of what we know, CC26Feb20
Awkward child, approach, CC30Dec20
Ax murder, story of, VP08Mar21
B
“Bad” behavior(s):
addressing immediately, VP12Oct20
adult children, responding to, CC05Aug20
cause, BP23Sep21
don’t focus on avoiding, VP13Jul20
eliminated by loving and teaching, VP29Jun20
not funny, BP07Jan21
public, responding to, CC14Oct20
repetition due to parents, VP01Jun20
respond immediately, VP28Sep20
responding to, CC05Aug20, CC12Aug20
response to, VP01Jun20, CC17Jun20, CC30Dec20
shorthand for describing, CC13Jan21
steps to modify, VP01Jun20
stop early, VP04Jan21
stopping alone is not the goal, CC02Sep20
stopping immediately with loving and teaching, CC02Sep20
Ball, learning to catch and hit, BP05Mar20
Bar fight, just like parent-child fight, CC12Aug20
Base rot, compared to problems in children, BP17Dec20
Bathing, kids together, VP21Dec20
Battle, prepare soldiers for just like we prepare children for life, CC02Sep20
Battles, picking important ones, CC11Dec19
Beauty:
about sex, VP15Feb21
awareness of, BP03Dec20
comments about, VP15Feb21
disadvantages of commenting on, VP15Feb21
enrichment of, BP03Dec20
imitation love, VP15Feb21
not who we are, VP15Feb21
physical, VP15Feb21
teaching to children, BP03Dec20
Bedtime:
examples, CC01Apr20, VP15Jun20, CC07Jul21
inflexibility of, VP15Jun20
parents protecting their own, CC20Jan21
routine, CC01Apr20, CC18Aug21
Bedwetting, response, CC18Aug21
Behavior:
changing not enough, VP18Jan21
effects of often invisible, BP23Jul20
truth in, VP18Nov19
real evidence of learning, CC13May30
unacceptable, don’t avoid, BP11Jun20
unacceptable, exception, VPMar20
unacceptable, pattern, VPMar20
Behavioral disorders, diagnosis not possible without Real Love, CC09Jun21
Being right:
children, dangers of, CC13May20
dangers of, VP27Sep21
signs of, VP27Sep21
teaching about, VP27Sep21
vs opinion, criteria, VP27Sep21
Best, we’re doing our, CC01Apr20
Birds, children like, VP20Jan20
Blaming, responding to, CC02Dec20
Bodies, objectifying, BP05Dec19
Books:
monitoring child’s reading, CC17Feb21
provide teaching opportunities for parents, CC17Feb21
Brady, parents like, CC24Feb21
Brevity, benefits, VP12Jul21
Bribing child:
cost, CC01Apr20
don’t, CC09Oct19
Bruce, story, CC09Sep20
Buck, movie documentary, BP02Jul20, CC27Oct20
Buffalo, hunted by wolves, VP25Nov19
Building, a child, VP20Mar20
Bullying:
cause, VP28Sep20
effects, VP04Nov19, VP18Jan21
harmful to bully, VP18Jan21
identifying, CC08Jan20
long-term effects of, CC08Jul20
much more common than we think, CC08Jan20
none with love, CC08Jul20
parents often guilty of, PCSD 206-10
responding to, CC08Jan20, VP18Jan21, VP19Apr21
response to, CC02Oct19, VP04Nov19, CC15Jan20, CC08Jul20, CC06Jan21
stopping, VP28Sep20
success story, CC15Jan20
teaching children about, VP21Oct19, CC15Jan20, VP02Nov20, CC27Jan21
teaching child to respond to, CC08Jan20
three-year-old, CC07Apr21
when your child is bully, CC14Apr21
within family, stopping, CC29Apr20
Bumps in road, part of life, CC19Feb20
C
Calm:
essential in lovingandteaching, CC30Dec20
importance of, VP23Nov20
power of, BP10Sep20
Calming child, how, CC22Apr20
Calmness, required, BP02Jul20
Canal, blocked, BP20May21
Cattle, why fenced, BP02Apr20
Cave, following guide in, BP17Sep20
Chainsaw:
starting, BP08Oct20
working, like parenting principles diligently used, BP08Oct20
Change:
children naturally resist, CC05Aug20
courage required, BP13Aug20
difficult, BP23Jan20, CC11Mar20, BP13Aug20, BP01Jul21
how, BP23Jan20
examples of in parent-child relationship, RLP94, RLP142-4, RLP167-8, RLP197-9, RLP 206-13
fast, VP05Jul21
kids don’t like, BP01Jul21
perspective, BP23Jan20
resisting, CC16Oct19
what we can, BP20Feb20
worth all effort, VP24May21
Changing subject, a defense, VP24Feb20
Changing world, BP30Sep21
Chasing child, no, CC30Dec20
Chemistry professor, working for later in life, BP24Sep20
Child:
angry at parent, CC17Feb21
bribing, CC01Apr20
choosing which parent to be with, CC01Apr20
defiant, teaching, CC22Jan20
disruptive to siblings, CC25Aug21
easy or hard, CC18Mar20
more important than task, CC19Aug20
Child bullies other child, response, CC21Jul21
Child hitting, from excitement, how to respond, CC08Jan20
Child inconveniencing others, response, CC28Jul21
Childhood:
autocorrect from, B26Mar14
can’t just “get over it,” RL14
denial of, B20Oct14
effect, B12Oct16, B29Jan18
effect(s) of, PCSD 9-11, PCSD 68-78, PCSD 105-7, B30Jan15, B12Dec16, B03Feb17, B12Apr17, B26Apr17, B19Jun17, B08Sep17, B02Oct17
effect of on rest of life, B17Feb12, B23Nov12, B26Mar14, B04Apr14, B30Apr14, B19May14, B16Jun14, B23Jun14, B24Sep14, B20Oct14
effects, B02Dec16, B28Dec16, B08May17, B30Aug17, CC09Jun21
effects, examples, B29Jul16
effects of not loving and teaching long term, CC03Jun20
forgetting common, B30May14
independence from, B04Apr14
just get over it, RLP21
lifetime effect of not getting Real Love in, RLP21
Real Love essential in, B23Nov12
regaining with love, B13Apr15
Child leaving, attitude toward, CC08Jul20
Children:
10 commandments for, B10Sep14
abandoning, DC474
accepting, not condoning, DC347
accommodating demands, CC01Jul20
acting out, DC231–232–233
adult, see Children, adult (entire entry below)
adult, see Parenting, adult children
adults behave as, B19Jun17
ages don’t matter that much, CC18Aug21
allowing them to manage difficult situations, CC05Feb20
always the focus of an activity, CC11Aug21
always talking to us, CC05Feb20
anger and rebellion caused by victimhood, RLV 162
ask for Real Love freely, B18Feb11
bad behavior caused by lack of Real Love, B17Jan07
bad behaviors of, DC344–345–346–347–348
“bad” behavior proof of our failings as parents, RLP14, RLP18-19
“bad” behavior reaction to emptiness and fear, RLP2
behavioral “disorders in”, B28Feb18
believe loving means giving them what they want, EWB425, BWB439
believe parents’ definition of love, B21Jan11
born different, RLP258
can’t believe it when parents finally govern family by principles, CC20May20
can’t love parents unconditionally, EWB393, BWB413
care only about being loved, DC420–421
caring for too much, B07Oct16, BP27May21
college education and, DC361–362
complaining, how to respond, CC08Jan20
complex influences on, BP20Feb20
controlling, B23May11
controlling, not, VP06Jan20
controlling parents, VP11May20
correcting, DC287–288–289–290
correction by parent not theirs, CC15Jul20
crippled by too much parental “giving”, DC361–362
crossed eyes in, DC260–261–262
deceived by conditional love of parents, B21Jan11
defiance, reason, CC20May20
demanding, responding to, CC15Jan20
disappointment, responding to, CC05Feb20
disobedient, teaching, EWB369-79, BWB393
drowned by parents, B01Jun11
easier to influence while young, BP16Jan20
effect of divorce on, RLM 302-5
effect of not being loved by parents, DC344–345–346–347–348, B17Jan07, B21Jan11, B01Jun11, B17Feb12
enabling, DC395
entitled, why, B07Oct16
entitlement in, B09Aug11
evaluating change in, CC17Mar21
excuses creative, CC29Apr20
expectations for Real love, DC346
factors that effect, PCSD 104-5
faith in, inspires them, EWB423, BWB438
feel love, DC420–421
feel our love, CC15Apr20
fighting, DC6
focus on them not task, CC04Nov20
follow us, CC15Apr20
freedom of, B06May16, BP04Nov21
gift from, B31Oct12
gratitude for love not reasonable, B15Feb12
grow through pain, B06Apr11
helping, risk of, DC333–334, DC395
helping too much, DC395, B11Apr11, B09Aug11
homework and, BWB450
hurt by permissiveness, B11Apr11, B09Aug11
hurt by small wounds, B27Jun11
inconvenience, responding to, CC05Feb20
inconvenient, RLP57
irresponsible, teaching, EWB369-79, BWB393-400
job of, B15Feb12
know what is right, CC20Jan21
lack of love caused by parents, DC319–320, B22Jul11
learn by parent’s example, DC8
learn from their decisions, EWB38-9
learning to love with, B15Feb12
leaving behind what they were taught, B28Jun12
lies taught to, B17Oct12, B21Jan13
like birds, VP20Jan20
like fish out of water, VP03May21
loving means teaching them to feel loved, loving, responsible, EWB425, BWB439
loving, risk of, DC333–334
loving other people’s, CC26Feb20
loving others unconditionally, B31Oct12
lying, taught to, RLV 20
making noise, CC05Feb20
medical needs in, DC260–261–262
media use in, B17Aug11
most eventually prefer loving and teaching, CC05Aug20
need our love, not our praise, EWB363-7, BWB390-1
need Real Love like buildings need rebar, B23Nov12
need Real Love most, EWB262, BWB294
need real love to be happy, DC7, DC28, DC344–345–346–347–348, DC420–421, B17Jan07, B23Nov12, RLWM 257-8
need to be independent, EWB389, BWB410
needs, expressed indirectly, RLP5-6, RLP13-14
not loved conditionally, DC75
not responsible for loving parents, DC498, B15Feb12, B17Sep14
not responsible for parents’ feelings, B17Sep14
not same, CC27May20
not stupid, DC347
opportunity to learn to love, B15Feb12, BP05Aug21
other peoples, loving, CC26Feb20
parent themselves if parents don’t, CC20May20, VP15Jun20
parent’s anger = “I don’t love you”, DC7–8, DC28
parents wanting to control, DC344–345–346–347–348
perspectives determined by parental lens, PCSD 68-72
physical pain and emotional pain, CC05Feb20
playing parents, VP01Jun20
preparation for happiness of, B27Nov15
pretend not to understand rules, CC20May20
protect them, VP06Sep21
protecting, DC260–261–262, BP11Feb21
protecting not always desirable, B06Apr11, B04Apr12, B20Apr12
real victims, RLWM 214
rebellious, DC28
rescuing bad, B21Oct15
rescuing vs. helping, DC453–454–455–456, B06Apr11, B09Aug11, B04Apr12
responding every time name spoken, CC16Dec20
responsibility of, B15Feb12
saving bad, B21Oct15
see Parenting
see Parents
speaking like victims, examples of, RLV 305-6
stopping parental anger, VP31Aug20
taught by parents to buy Imitation Love, BWB388-90
taught by parents to buy praise, EWB361-7
taught by parents to fight among one another, EWB369, BWB395
taught by parents to use all Getting and Protecting Behaviors, EWB 369, BWB394-5
taught principles no longer true as adults, B28Jun12, B21Jan13
teaching about the Law of Choice, RLV 191
teaching about victimhood, RLV 191, RLV 266-70
teaching each other, CC06May20
teaching early, B03Nov17
teaching how to respond to victims, RLV 306-8
teaching how to tell the truth about their victimhood, RLV 204-5
teaching, importance of, B27Nov15
teaching like training a dog, B29Sep14
teaching Real Love, B25Dec15
television viewing in, B17Aug11
telling truth to about parents, B20Apr12, B08Oct12
texting in, B17Aug11
their idea of loving them, EWB423, BWB437-8
trade Imitation Love with parents, EWB391-3, BWB413
train parents to be angry, B03Dec11
train parents to behave in certain ways, B03Dec11
training like training dog, B29Sep14
unhappiness in, blaming others for, RLP1-2
unhappiness in, evidence of, RLP1-2, RLP5-6
until they feel loved, can’t hear anything we say, EWB263-5, BWB295-6
victimhood leads to anger and rebellion in, RLV 162
victimhood of, DC270–271
video games and, B17Aug11
view of self taught by parents, DC48
want freedoms of adults but coddling of child, CC20May20
watch us for clues how to manipulate us, CC16Dec20
well behaved, CC30Jun21
what to tell parents who use child as pawn, DC56
whine because it works, EWB391, BWB411-12
why we have, RLP71-2
without Real Love grow up to use Getting and Protecting Behaviors, EWB156
without Real Love grow up to use Getting and Protecting Behaviors and to sin, BWB186
without Real Love severely affected, EWB156, BWB186
without sufficient Real Love are handicapped, RLD47
world defined by parents, DC323
young, CC26Feb20
Children, adult:
bad behavior of, DC464–465–466, B31Oct14
controlling mother, DC20, DC61
disapproving of mother’s boyfriend, DC44
entitled, B04Aug17
healthy relationship with parents, DC21
leaving home, DC19, B31Oct14
mama’s boy, DC21, B31Oct14
parenting, DC19, B31Oct14
see Parenting, adult children
responding to, DC464–465–466, B31Oct14
what to say to controlling mother, DC61
Choice:
allow children to make, VP06Apr20
always accompanied by consequences, CC19Aug20
and ability, BP11Mar21
and responsibility, BP11Mar21
avoid making for children, CC12Feb20
comes with price, CC20May20
consequences naturally follow, CC18Dec19
giving children, VP20Apr20
giving, examples, CC18Mar20
how to make, VP03Aug20
importance of, CC12Feb20
life or death, VP16Mar20
limited by what we’ve been taught and how we’ve been loved, CC01Apr20
limited for children in beginning, BP27Nov19
limited to those that effect you, CC30Dec20
miracle of making, CC27May20
or reaction, CC01Apr20
paying for, CC12Feb20
price of, VP06Jan20
price of unwise ones, CC12Feb20
responsible for, CC11Mar20
teaching, VP06Jan20
teaching children to make their own, CC12Feb20
vs reaction, BP14May20, CC09Jun21, BP22Jul21
Choices:
between good and bad, CC31Mar21
bigger than they look, BP01Oct20
helping children to see different ones, CC19Feb20
more powerful than words, VP18Nov19
Choose, how you want to feel, CC31Mar21
Choosing, vs reacting, CC25Nov20
Choosing friends, teaching children how, CC12Feb20
Chores:
assigning, CC11Dec19
opportunity not inconvenience, VP22Jun20
responding to failure, CC11Dec19
see Jobs
Christmas, expectations about, CC29Jan20
Cigarettes:
effects like electronics, BP09Jan20
lung cancer, BP09Jan20
Classroom, Real Love in, CC09Sep20
Cleanliness:
differences in children’s need for, CC04Dec19
examples, CC17Mar21
Cleaning, just part of using something, not a consequence, CC25Nov20
Cliff, how close to get, VP09Mar20
Clinging:
parents to children, RLP89
responding to, CC13Jan21
Clothing, expensive, CC29Jul20
Clues, children give all the time about how they feel, CC19Feb20
Co-signing loan, for child, CC08Jan20, CC28Apr21
College:
do not pay for if child not responsible, CC07Jul21
how to choose, CC20Nov19
missing first year if not prepared, CC07Jul21
preparing children for, CC24Jun20
College major, how to choose, CC20Nov19
Comfort, vs learning, CC14Jul21
Commandments, for teens, BP25Mar21
Comments, unkind by children about others, VP02Nov20
Commiseration, stopping, CC19Aug20
Comparison, dangers of, VP18May20
Competence:
defined, BP26Nov20
vs confidence, BP26Nov20
Competition:
dangers of, CC24Feb21
dealing with, CC30Sep20
disadvantages of, CC30Sep20
Complaining:
how to avoid in others, CC19Aug20
response to, VP22Jun20, VP26Oct20 , CC03Feb21, CC31Mar21
teach children to respond to in others, CC18Mar20
Compliance, minimal, VP18Jan21
Compliments:
alternatives to, CC04Nov20
dangers of, CC04Nov20
Compulsion, to control or criticize, VP28Sep20
Concern:
form of fear, VP20Jan20
messages communicated by, VP20Jan20
Concrete:
like children, BP16Jan20
curing, BP16Jan20
Concrete box, living in, BP30Apr20
Conditioning, required for parents, CC24Feb21
Confidence:
comes from doing, VP12Oct20
defined, BP26Nov20
giving to child, CC29Jul20
helping child with, CC30Sep20
power of, BP10Sep20
role in teaching children, CC30Jun21
source of, BP10Jun21
teaching, CC28Jul21
vs competence, BP26Nov20
Conflict:
in family, responding to, VP23Nov20
only worsens, VP10Aug20
responding to, CC15Jul20
stopping, CC30Jun21
Connection, how to establish with child, CC04Nov20
Consequences:
after teaching with words ineffective, CC25Mar20
always follow choices, B18May16
applied after loving, DC491, B10Feb12
balance with teaching with words, VP24Aug20
beginning, CC07Jul21
calmly administered, CC23Sep20
can’t choose, B18May16
casually applying, CC10Feb21
characteristics, RLP180, RLV 142-3, RLW303-4, EWB267-9, BWB299
children understand need for, CC29Jan20
child refusing, CC12Aug20
choosing, DC375–376–377, B23Apr14, CC09Sep20, CC16Dec20
consistent, BP18Feb21, CC10Feb21, VP01Jun20, VP15Jun20, CC16Sep20, RLP253-4, RLP341
defiant child, BP10Mar22
different for children vs parents, CC12Aug20
discussing before they’re imposed, RLP183, RLP227, RLP341-2
don’t apply for only occasional mistakes, RLP343
don’t get angry, DC142
don’t have to be natural always, CC04Mar20
early, VP04Jan21
easy when parent loving, CC25Mar20
effect of, CC16Sep20
essential in parenting, B11Apr16
essential to teach responsibility, B11Apr16
examples, CC17Jun20, DC142–143, DC375–376–377, DC408, B17Jan07, B06Feb12, B10Feb12, B23Apr14, RLP178-82, RLP184, RLP184-6, RLP216-7, RLP225-8, RLP229-31, RLP253-4, RLP339-42, RLP366-7, RLP369-71, RLP385-6, RLP391, RLW305-7, B26Aug15, B24Apr17, CC11Dec19, CC18Mar20, VP30Mar20, CC23Sep20, CC14Oct20, CC10Feb21, CC17Mar21 , CC21Apr21
examples of, CC11Dec19, CC22Apr20
external vs. natural, BWB301-2
fast and consistent, CC14Oct20
fear of, CC07Jul21
follow failure of loving and teaching, CC04Mar20
for child 18 or older, CC01Apr20
given lovingly, CC04Nov20
God’s, BWB300-1
harmful in absence of love, CC30Sep20
harsh, CC10Mar21
harsh enough to change decisions, BP18Feb21
harsh sometimes, CC29Jan20, CC01Apr20
have no personality, DC142
how to administer, RLW 304-5
immediate, CC04Mar20, CC16Sep20
immediate and inconvenient, CC11Mar20
imposed for bad behavior, RL31, RL154-7
in young children, CC20Jan21
increasing, VP28Oct19, VP01Jun20, CC03Feb21
incorrectly imposing, RLP184
judging harshness of, EWB395, BWB415
just do them, CC13Jan21
let them teach, DC143, B10Feb12
like real life, DC142–143, B23Apr14
like Wal-Mart, DC143
list prepared, CC03Feb21
loving, RLP180, RLP184-6, RLP341
misunderstood, RLW 303
must be experienced in order to learn eternal principles, CC06Nov19
natural, VP23Aug21 , RLP182-3, RLP253-4, RLP268-9, RLP332, RLP369-71
natural when possible, CC04Mar20
never impose while irritated, EWB395, BWB415
not always needed, CC11Nov20
not just to change behavior, VP18Jan21
not punishment, RL30-1, RL156-7
not responsible for, RL229-31
now, VP30Mar20
of choices more far-reaching than we realize, B24Aug12
of not loving and teaching children, CC13May20
of world, explaining to children, CC22Jan20
offering variety, RLP227-8, RLP342, RLP342-3, RLP385-6
often bigger than we think, BP01Oct20
only if unacceptable behavior is a pattern, VP30Mar20
only use when words don’t work, CC04Nov20
parenting and, EWB377, BWB400
price of inconsistency, CC28Jul21
purpose, DC375–376–377, DC408, B17Jan07, VP02Dec19, CC21Apr21, RL156, RLP180, RLP181, RLV 143, RLW 303-4
purposes of, EWB269, BWB300
putting off not good, CC12Aug20
ramping up, VP01Jun20
resenting is proof of not learning, CC26Aug20
resolving conflicts with, RLP216-7, RLP229-31
saving children from is actually unloving, B17Jan07, B10Feb12
severe sometimes, B19Aug16, VP16Mar20
skipping, RLW 307
sooner, VP20Apr20
successes, CC16Sep20
teach, VP15Jun20
teach quickly, CC16Sep20
teach us, DC118, DC143
teaching with, DC142–143, DC287–288–289–290, B17Jan07, B10Feb12, B23Apr14, VP16Mar20
tone very important, CC12Aug20
types of, RLW305
use only when words don’t teach, CC11Nov20
use when loving and teaching are not enough, RLP178, RLP225-8
vs. punishment, RLP180, RLV 142-4, RLW 304, EWB267-9, BWB298-9
when apply, CC04Mar20
when no screen time to use, CC16Dec20
when not to use, CC04Mar20
without anger, RLP180, RLP253-4
young children, CC11Mar20, CC25Mar20
younger children, VP01Jun20
Consistency:
benefits of, CC09Oct19, CC18Mar20
failure, BP17Oct19
importance of, CC11Dec19, CC18Dec19, BP09Jul20, CC07Apr21 , CC14Jul21, VP19Jul21
necessary, BP31Oct19, CC20Jan21
need for, B12Nov12, VP09Dec19, CC01Apr20
required, BP10Oct19
revealed by child’s behavior, CC07Apr21
Consistency vs controlling, VP17Feb20
Control:
children hate losing, CC11Mar20
children of their parents, CC21Oct20
Controlling:
addiction, VP17Feb20
alternatives, CC28Mar20
avoiding, CC14Apr21
children of others, examples, VP20Jul20
children of parents, VP15Jun20
children responding to, VP20Sep21
effect of, CC15Apr20
eliminates love, CC22Apr20
harm of, VP06Jan20
not, success, CC26Aug20
not effective, VP13Jul20, BP19Aug21
not purpose of parenting, CC04Dec19
not the goal, CC14Apr21
parent who, CC18Mar20
parents’ response to Getting and Protecting Behaviors of children, RLP194-5
solution, VP17Feb20
sometimes all right so that at least they know what a behavior looks and feels like, VP05Oct20
stopping in child, VP20Jul20
vs. helping, VP20Jul20
vs standards, CC07Apr21
Controlling vs consistency, VP17Feb20
Conversations, staying on subject, VP24Feb20
Correcting:
child not yours, CC15Jul20
correcting, loving, examples, CC04Nov20
Cost, vs benefit, BP18Feb21
Couch, lifting up from, BP16Apr20
Courage, required in parenting, CC21Oct20, CC03Mar21, BP12Aug21
Cows, fences, BP27Nov19
CPR, like parenting, BP12Aug21
Creativity, encouraging, VP15Mar21
Crises, always preceded by warning signs, VP08Mar21
Criticism:
responding to child’s, VP09Nov20
stopping in a child, VP20Jul20
Crying, responding to, VP28Jun21
Custody, child ignoring court order, consequences, example, CC01Apr20
Cruelty, responding to, CC15Jul20
D
Danger(s):
hidden, BP14Jan21
potential, BP14Jan21
prevention of, BP01Oct20
Dark, only absence of light, VP01Mar21
Dating:
age, RLP397-8
age difference in, RLP399
age of, VP09Mar20
and adult children, DC44
asking, examples, RLD142
asking, fear of, RLD139
asking, fear of, eliminating, RLD139-40
asking, how, RLD142
asking for date, RLD139-44
attracting wrong partners with Imitation Love, DC12, B25Jul11
best foot forward in, EWB73-7, BWB 82-4
criteria for finding partner, DC495–496–497, B18Jul11, B25Jul11, B09Sep11
criteria for partner different from criteria for unconditional loving, RLD23-4
dangers of, B21Aug15
delaying, DC497
don’t avoid rejection in, EWB 283, BWB317
double, RLD147
drugs and, RLP399
end of date, RLD155
exchanging praise in, EWB75-7, BWB82-4
expectations in, DC134–135–136–137
fear of commitment in, RLV 154-7
fears in, RLD83-4
finances of, DC134–135–136–137
financial arrangements of, RLD86
find Real Love before you start, RLD69-70
foundation of truth required in, EWB283, EWB421, BWB317, BWB436
gathering information in, DC135–136–137, B25Jul11, B09Sep11
goals of, RLD85-6
guidelines, B01Feb17
help from others, B22Oct14
honesty in, DC12
how most of us approach, RLD92
Imitation love in, DC298, B09Sep11, RLD24-5, RLD92, EWB89-91, EWB279, EWB421, BWB435-6
importance of research in, B22Jul16
increasing efficiency of, RLD90-1
Internet, see Internet
inter-racial, DC196–197
kissing, B01Feb17
learning more about, EWB283, EWB421, BWB316-17, BWB436
like job interview, RLD76-8
lying in, EWB 75-7, BWB83-4<
moving on to next level, RLD155-6
often, RLD154
partner at work, RLD154
partner with children, RLD154
preparation for, RLD127-9, RLD130-1, RLD140
purpose, for most people, RLD70-1
purpose, healthy, RLD71, RLD76-7, RLD144
purpose of, B25Jul11
purpose to gather information, RLD76-8, RLD95
purposes, RLP397
qualities not to value when, RLD18
qualities to look for, DC226, B18Jul11, B25Jul11, B09Sep11, RLD3, EWB421, BWB437
readiness for, DC497
Real Love book, role in, RLD150-1, RLD186
Real Love in, B22Jul16
repeated attraction of same kind of partner in, RLD24-5
saying no to request for, RLD144, RLD157
second and beyond, RLD156-8
sex in, avoiding, DC495–496–497, see Sex
social pressures of, EWB355-7, BWB385-6
social requirement that we be if single, EWB355-9, BWB385-8
something obviously wrong with way we, EWB283, BWB316
standards for, B18Jul11, B07Mar12, VP09Mar20
standards not controlling, B07Mar12
steady, RLP398
supervising, CC16Dec20
test for preparation, RLD126
third and beyond, RLD157-8
touching in, CC16Dec20
trading Imitation Love in, DC495–496–497, RLD24-5
transparent, B22Oct14
truth telling in, RLD 71-89, EWB 283, EWB421, BWB317, BWB436
two unhappy people in, DC163
type, 3 RLP98
used for sex, DC12
victimhood in, RLV 154-62
what to do on first and second dates, RLD144-6
what to talk about, RLD147-8, see Truth telling
when, B22Oct14, RLD125-9
when answer is maybe, RLD143
when answer is yes, RLD143
when not to, RLD125-6
where, RLD129-31
who, RLD154
who asks, RLD140-2
without truth telling is worthless, RLD71
working out the details, RLD143
Death:
helping child with, CC27Oct20
preventing, CC03Mar21
Decision making, teaching, CC31Mar21
Decisions:
criteria for, VP03Aug20
how to make, BP30Jul20
making, VP03Aug20
when to let them make their own, VP05Oct20
why people make most, BP30Jul20
Defending:
more words indication of, VP02Nov20
responding to, VP02Nov20
Defiance, responding to, CC13Jan21
Defiant child:
consequences, BP10Mar22
how to love, CC13May20
Demanding:
children, responding to, CC15Jan20, CC13Jan21, CC10Mar21 , CC11Aug21
that children love us, CC17Mar21
Demands, of children, accommodating, CC01Jul20
Denial:
death of, BP14Jan21
harm of, VP25Oct21
of parents about children’s pain, VP08Jun20
Depression, denial of, VP25Oct21
Desperation, motivation, VP11Jan21
Details, parenting not about, VP03Feb20
Diagnoses, damaging to children, CC16Dec20
Diamonds, making, BP24Sep20
Different:
being, VP18May20
people are, BP06Feb20
Difficult people, responding to, BP06Feb20
Diligence:
need for in parenting, BP24Dec20
required, VP07Jun21
Direction, changing, BPOct19
Disappearing, with not listening, VP31May21
Disappointment:
in child, responding to, CC15Apr20
responding to, CC29Jan20
teaching child about, CC15Apr20
Disapproval, children feel even when you “hide”, CC29Jul20
Disrespect:
addressing, BP12Mar20
effects of, BP12Mar20
stopping, BP12Mar20
Distractions of world, teaching about, CC29Jul20
Divorce:
effect on children, BP28Oct21
when to use as tool to motivate spouse who is undermining parenting, CC02Sep20
with children, BP28Oct21
Dogwood tree, beauty of, BP03Dec20
Door slamming, response, CC02Dec20
Doors, shut if we don’t do the pre-requisites, VP12Oct20
Drama, avoiding, CC19Aug20
Drawing on wall, CC22Apr20
Drowning, our children, BP08Apr21
Drinking alcohol, parents CC12Aug20
Drug use:
as it affects PCSD and treatment, PCSD 295-7
children and, DC333–334–335
danger of, RLP399-400
responding to, DC355–356–357
eliminated by Real Love, RLP136-7
example of parents responding to, RLP136-7
example we set, RLP404
preventing, RLP400
stopping is an emergency, RLP401-4
urine testing for, DC334
why children do, RLP136-7, RLP399
E
Early:
act, VP04Jan21
address problems, BP17Dec20
Early trauma, effects, CC09Jun21
Education:
important, but not as much as Real Love, B09Jul08, B14Sep11
in life, B14Sep11, B23Apr14
life, VP02Dec19
life, responsibility of parents, B23Apr14
Electronics, Electronic Devices:
cause shorter attention spans, BP30Jan20
children raise each other, CC04Dec19
danger of, CC22Jan20, VP09Mar20
effects of on our children, CC03Jun20
every use must be known or monitored, CC29Apr20
like handling a gun, CC04Dec19
limiting, CC06May20
limiting with apps, CC06May20
potential for danger, BP26Mar20
we give up our role as parents to, CC29Apr20
Emotional reaction, from parent makes them ineligible to be parent, CC20May20
Empowering children, not rescuing, CC12Feb20
Enabling:
cost of, VP16Mar20
examples, CC03Mar21
why not good, BP29Apr21
Encouragement, dangers of, CC19May21
English, vs Whine, CC06Jan21
Entitled:
caused by parents, B23Apr14
common, B23Apr14
how it happens, B12Mar14, B23Apr14
paying children to be, B23Apr14
why, BP27May21
Entitlement: B09Oct15
cause of, B25May16, BP21Oct21
cycle of, CC04Mar20
dangers of, CC13May20
deadly, B05Feb16
enabling, CC04Mar20
cause of, BP29Apr21
examples, B25May16, CC10Jun20, BP16Sep21
how it happens, CC13May20, BP27May21, BP17Jun21, VP26Jul21
how learned, B04Aug17
identifying early, CC29Apr20
of parents, CC04Mar20
prevalence of, CC10Jun20
responding to, VP11May20, VP23Aug21
spreading, B25May16
teaching, B04Aug17
to what, BP16Sep21
true, BP16Sep21
unhappiness of, BP16Sep21
Entropy:
counteracted by parents’ love and teaching, BP09Jul20
definition, BP09Jul20
emotional and spiritual, BP09Jul20
force against is love, CC06Jan21
Epigenetics:
like altering personality traits, B07Jan15
PCSD 47-8
Events, attending those involving child, CC19Feb20
Event-Judgment-Feeling-Reaction:
difficulty of changing feelings and reactions alone, BWB194-6, BWB 417, BWB432-3
example of use, EWB397-401, BWB196-7, BWB199-200, BWB417, BWB432-3
examples, VP22Jun20, B14Mar16, B12Jun17, B30Mar18, CC03Feb21
explanation of, B20Aug12, RLWM 73-6, PCSD 258-70
illustrating that we must change judgment first, EWB161, EWB165-7, BWB194-6, BWB 433
introduction, EWB161, BWB 193-4
see Judgments
teaching, VP22Jun20
Everest:
climbing, BP09Apr20
training children to climb, BP09Apr20
Everybody does it, response, BP09Jan20
Evil, only absence of love and teaching, VP01Mar21
Ex-partners of children, relationships with, CC21Apr21
Ex-spouses:
responding to, DC149–150–151–152, DC353–354, DC457, DC480, B20Apr12
sharing parenting with, B20Apr12
Exam, re-taking, VP19Oct20
Example:
bad, avoiding, VP17Aug20
of others, required for us to change, BP23Jan20
teaching by, BP05Dec19, CC18Mar20, BP23Sep21
Exceptions vs patterns, responding to, VP30Mar20
Excitement, in child, encouraging, CC08Jan20
Excuses:
examples, B20Feb12, B28Jan14, B30Jul14
guarantee of future mistakes, RLW 66
identifying, B18Mar16, CC16Oct19, VP23Mar20, BP17Mar21
real meaning of, RLP204-5, RLW66
responding to, CC16Oct19, VP23Mar20, CC04Nov20
vs. truth, B30Jul14
used by children to rule parents, CC14Apr21
worthless, B20Feb12, B28Jan14
Exhausted, leave before, CC03Mar21
Exhaustion, prevent, CC03Mar21
Expectations:
avoid, CC19Aug20
burden of, CC24Mar21
that children will love us, CC17Mar21
Experience:
acquiring, BP08Jul21
rules, BP08Jul21
Explosions, preceded by clues, VP06Jul20
Exposure, of children to useful events, BP24Sep20
Extremes, bouncing between, CC23Sep20
F
Fairness (Fair):
children’s concept of usually selfish, RLP305, RLP381-3
and justice, DC38, B16Mar11
consequences of not teaching, B14Jan15
defined as what we want, RLWM 71
definition, B14Jan15
demand for brings unhappiness, DC38, B16Mar11
doesn’t make us happy, DC37, B16Mar11
freedom to choose is, RLWM 71
hypocrisy of demanding, B16Mar11, B23Dec11
idea of usually selfish, B23Dec11
insistence on is selfish, DC37, B16Mar11
not, responding to, CC27Oct20
not important, DC67
not unfair when we’re inconvenienced, RLWM 71
our obsession with inappropriate, RLV 67-8
see Justice, VP19Oct20
teaching, B14Jan15, BP12Dec19
victim’s demands for, RLV 254
victim’s idea of, RLV 59-61
vs. loving, RLP368-9
Faith:
and gratitude, BP29Jul21
examples, VP09Aug21
in principles, not outcomes, VP26Apr21
in what, CC17Mar21, VP26Apr21, CC28Apr21
not in outcomes, VP26Apr21
power of, BP16Apr20
requires action, BP08Oct20
vs stupidity, CC17Mar21, VP26Apr21
Faith and gratitude, power of, BP22Jul21
Falling in love:
dangers, VP13Sep21
teaching, VP13Sep21
Families:
blended, DC81–82–83, DC85
expectations higher with, DC153–154–155
place to learn about Real Love, RL212-13
purpose to provide place to feel loved and practice loving, RLP367
Family gatherings, pressure of, CC17Feb21
Family Meetings:
content, RLP352-7
examples, CC07Jul21, RLP 354-6, RLP356-7
feelings and teaching part, RLP356-7
frequency, RLP188
kids enjoy, CC07Jul21
making interesting to children, CC15Jan20
planning and assignments in, RLP353-4, RLP373
power, CC11Aug21
purposes, RLP187-8, RLP352
rewards of, RLP357
Farting, CC11Dec19
Fatal optimism, BP22Oct20
Fear:
banished by love, BP01Apr21
deadening effect of, CC27May20
destroys parenting, CC27Oct20
forbidden in parenting, CC21Oct20
helps nothing, CC21Apr21
in parents makes them useless, CC21Oct20
makes parents useless, VP25Nov19
none in parenting, CC21Oct20
normal and unhealthy, VP25Jan21
parent of hurting child with teaching and consequences, CC21Oct20
parents cannot have, VP25Nov19
parents of children, VP02Dec19, BP12Aug21
solution faith, not control, VP17Feb20
Feelings:
helping child to discuss, CC04Dec19
helping child to express, BP07May20, CC27Oct20
more important than tasks, VP22Feb21
not caused by others, CC11Mar20, VP06Jul20
not the fault of others, CC02Dec20
Fences, why, BP02Apr20
Field of Death, parenting on, CC23Sep20
Fighting:
cause, VP11Nov19
parents and child, like childish bar fight, CC12Aug20
Finances, don’t make too easy for children, CC28Apr21
Fire, building, BP16Jul20, BP04Feb21
Firmness, required, BP02Jul20
Fish, sucked up, BP26Aug21
Fitness, emotional in parents, CC24Feb21
Flexibility, required in different circumstances, BP23Apr20
Flood, preparing for, VP02Mar20
Flow:
blockages, BP20May21
finding, BP11Jun20
in the CC06Nov19
river, staying in, VP13Jul20
Focus:
always on child not task, CC11Aug21
on children, CC17Feb21
Forcing children, don’t, CC24Jun20
Foretelling, future, VP11Jan21
Formula, for happiness, BP31Dec20 , VP01Feb21
Foster Care, parents give children to when electronics unsupervised, CC29Apr20
Freedom:
and ability, BP11Mar21
choice, BP04Nov21
choice vs reacting, BP14Nov19
from lovingandteaching, BP14Nov19
to give up pain and shame, BP04Nov21
Freedom and Joy, goal of life, VP20Jan20
Friends:
playing with, CC14Jul21
tend to go away as we change, CC19Aug20
Friendships, teaching children about, CC12Feb20
Fun:
allowing, CC09Oct19
examples, CC14Oct20
guiding, CC11Nov20
how to have with children, CC30Sep20
makes learning easier, CC14Oct20
more important than teaching, CC30Sep20
must have, CC10Feb21
parents want children to have, CC16Sep20
things to do, VP25May20
without loving and teaching impossible, CC30Sep20
Function, vs fun, money, BP19Dec19
Fussing, responding to, CC13Jan21
Future, foretelling from present acts, VP11Jan21
G
Games, purpose of, CC22Apr20
Gaming, addiction, BP25Feb21
Gaming addiction, responding to, CC10Feb21
Gardens, love in, BP03Sep20
Germs, good, BP29Apr21
Getting and Protecting Behaviors:
create concrete box for us to live in, BP30Apr20
describing to child, CC13Jan21
eliminating early, BP15Jul21
only a response to pain, not evil, VP01Mar21
Gifts:
can’t compare, CC09Jun21
effect of fear on, CC18Dec19
expectations, responding to, CC29Jan20
teaching children about their gifts, CC06May20, CC09Sep20
Gifts, emotional, effect of fear on, CC18Dec19
Giving, can’t when you don’t have, VP30Mar20
Global Problems, caused by lack of loving and teaching, B11Apr22
Goals, choose every day whether we succeed, VP16Mar20
God:
bigger version of adults we’ve known, CC09Jun21
listening to, CC09Jun21
notion of, CC09Jun21
Golf, experience in, BP08Jul21
Good behavior, parents point out, VP13Apr20
Government, not solution, VP22Nov21
Grades:
examples of responding to poorly, RLP113, RLP142-3
examples of responding to wisely, RLP144, RLP247
inflated, entitlement a cause, B25May16
Grandparent(s):
contradicted by parent, CC21Jul21
contradicts parent of child, CC21Jul21
critical, CC25Aug21
giving advice to parents, DC487–488
influencing parents of grandchildren, CC01Jul20
interfering, CC16Jun21, CC28Jul21
role of, CC27Jan21
teaching children how to parent, CC27Jan21
Gratitude:
benefits of, CC05Feb20
better than pointing out mistakes, B03Jul18
blessings of, B14Jan08, B25Feb11, B03Sep14
can’t be forced, B25Feb11
can’t be unhappy with, CC05Feb20
can’t teach by ordering it, RLP79-81, RLP249
children for being taught, CC26Aug20
children need, but for their benefit not ours, RLP68, RLP79-81
examples, CC29Jan20, BP22Jul21
for, not to, RLP79-81, RLP249, RLWM 58-9
for the right steps taken by our children, RLP255, RLP283-4
genuine, how taught, B28Aug17
higher goal, CC26Aug20
impossible when parents indulge children, B25Feb11
key to happiness, BP31Dec20
not from young children, BP05Aug21
parents expect from children, RLP68, RLP79
parents receive as praise from children, RLP35-6
power of, BP22Jul21
taught, B25Feb11
teaching, VP22Jun20, RLP251, CC29Jan20, CC28Jul21, VP15Nov21
teaching by example, RLP252
teaching by loving, RLP81
way to change attitude, CC19Feb20
Gravity:
accumulation of events, VP28Dec20
doesn’t pick on you, B04Jun12
effect of, VP28Dec20
emotional, B27Jul16
need for, B12Nov12
never sleeps, B27Jul16
relentless, B27Jul16
teaching, VP09Dec19, CC01Apr20
Growing pains, meaning of, CC19Aug20
Growth:
fast sometimes, CC09Sep20
or comfort, VP02Aug21
requires pain, VP02Aug21
Guidance:
like a map in the swamp, BP04Jun20
need for, BP21Jan21
Guilt:
children use with parents, CC20May20
harm of, CC17Feb21
makes love impossible, CC17Feb21
over mistakes with children, VP18Nov19
purpose of, CC17Feb21
motivation, examples, VP08Jun20
not good criterion for making choices, VP03Aug20
H
Half-measures:
blogs about, BP24Dec20
don’t work, BP24Dec20, CC03Mar21
ineffective, VP28Dec20, CC28Apr21
Happiness:
choice, CC19Feb20
eliminating obstacles to, VP22Feb21
end result of many steps, VP27Jan20
formula for, BP31Dec20
teaching to find, BP11Jun20
Happy:
easier than unhappy, VP24May21
goal of family, CC11Aug21
Harness, use of, CC04Nov20
Harrassment, children responding to, VP10Aug20
Hate:
causes more hate, BP03Sep20
explaining to child, CC27Jan21
Hating, in child, response to, CC19Feb20
Health, affected by lack of love, CC03Feb21
Helping, vs controlling, VP20Jul20
Helping Children, only when they can't do it themselves, CC15Jan20
Helplessness, addressing, CC30Jun21
Heroes, parents, BP14May20
Hesitation, makes parents useless, CC20May20
Hike, in canyon, BP21May20
Hoarding:
death, BP25Nov21
emotional, BP25Nov21
Hope, false, BP22Oct20
Horses:
love and teach like parents do children, BP02Jul20
training like parenting, CC27Oct20
Hostage, parents held by children, CC14Apr21
Humility, necessary for learning, CC13May20
Humor:
inappropriate, BP07Jan21
use in teaching, BP10Dec20
Hyper-excited child, responding to, CC08Jan20
Hypervigilance:
teaching, BP06Aug20
understanding, BP06Aug20
I
“I don’t like it,” not a plan, B06Oct17, VP26Oct20
“I don’t love you,” wound of, BP15Apr21
“I love you too,” correcting in a child, CC08Jan20
“I thought”, dangers of, VP23Mar20
Iceberg, D-28, BP18Jun20
“If you do this again,” child’s response to, CC12Aug20
Illness:
caused by lack of love, CC03Feb21
explaining to child, CC22Apr20
Imitation Love:
confusing to children when parents call it “love,” RLP35
Immediately, how to respond to bad behaviors, VP28Sep20
Imperfection:
admitting truth of, VP10Feb20
deceit of, VP10Feb20
Inconvenience, we see children as, CC11Aug21
Inconvenient:
not annoying, VP04May20
not unfair, VP19Oct20
Independence:
goal of teaching, VP05Oct20
healthy kind, CC20May20
inappropriate, CC20May20
preparing for, CC20May20
Inertia, effects, BP10Oct19
Influences, invisible, BP23Jul20
Information, vs judgment, VP09Nov20
Injury, making up for, CC09Jun21
Injustice:
examples, VP19Oct20
teaching children to respond to, CC20Jan21
Intensive approach to parenting, sometimes necessary, CC13May20
Intensive care, sometimes needed for children, CC13May20
Internet, parenting our children instead of us, CC13May20
Interrupting:
addressing, CC16Dec20
responding to child who is, CC17Feb21
Interrupts adults, child, response, CC21Jul21
Interviews, parent-child:
content, RLP 359-61
examples, RLP 360-1
kinds of, RLP 358
planned, RLP 358
purpose, RLP 357-8
where, RLP 358-9
Intruding:
into child’s activity, CC19May21
stopping, VP27Apr20
Intrusion, child responding to, VP17Aug20
J
Job, finding, CC16Oct19
Jobs:
finding, BP07Nov19
finding not difficult, BP07Nov19
kids, BP07Nov19
timed, CC16Dec20
Joint custody, medical care and, CC10Feb21
Joking:
how to identify when unkind, CC22Apr20
when to tolerate, CC22Apr20
Judging children, don’t, CC19May21
Judgment(s):
changing, VP22Jun20, CC03Feb21
how to make, BP30Jul20
vs information, VP09Nov20
Justice:
definition, BP12Dec19
finding, BP12Dec19
immature, VP19Oct20
manipulating for, VP19Oct20
must apply to everyone, VP19Oct20
often just selfishness, VP19Oct20
real, VP19Oct20
responding to, VP19Oct20
teaching, BP12Dec19
what is not, BP12Dec19
Justifications, don’t give, CC11Aug21
Justifying, makes us feel small, VP03Aug20
L
Labels, damaging to children, CC16Dec20
Language, bad, CC15Apr20, CC25Aug21
Late:
being, BP28Jan21
consequences for being, CC11Dec19
effects of, BP28Jan21
excuses for, BP28Jan21
teaching about being, CC04Nov20
Law of choice, inseparable from Law of Responsibility, CC11Mar20
Laws, create freedom, VP23Aug21
Laws of Happiness: BP16Sep21
big change for child, CC21Oct20
child likely to resist learning, CC21Oct20
described, CC19Aug20, VP23Aug21
remove child’s ability to manipulate, CC21Oct20
results of breaking, BP02Apr20
Learning:
being wrong first step, VP21Sep20
can be very fast, CC16Sep20
cost of, VP16Mar20
demonstrate required level, CC14Apr21
everything is, BP31Oct19
learning, fast sometimes, CC09Sep20
genuine not repetition, CC14Apr21
gradual, VP20Apr20
gradual process, CC04Mar20
persistence in, CC04Mar20
proven by change in behavior, CC13May20
requiring children to state, CC28Apr21
try on your own before asking for help, VP12Oct20
Leaving home, making decision about child who needs to, CC10Jun20
Lecturing, dangers of, CC29Jan20
License:
required for certain activities, VP20Jul20
to make comments about others, VP20Jul20
Life:
choosing, CC09Sep20
choosing kind of, VP16Mar20
choosing one step at a time, CC09Sep20
course of, BP31Oct19
education, VP02Dec19
hard, BP02Sep21
preparation for, CC30Dec20
school of, BP31Oct19, VP02Dec19, VP16Mar20, BP09Apr20
Life-course, examples, BP07Nov19
Life-courses, absence of, B02Jun17
Life school:
children need, VP11May20
teaching, VP11May20
Liking, vs loving, VP13Sep21
Line, river, staying in, VP13Jul20
Listen, first, CC26Feb20
Listening:
attitude, VP04May20
don’t insist, CC30Oct19
examples, CC19Feb20, BP07May20, VP22Jun20, BP06May21
getting attention of other person, CC27Jan21
how, BP07May20, CC27Jan21
importance of, CC26Feb20, VP22Jun20, VP31May21
loving, VP22Jun20
not, disappearing, VP31May21
not in child, response to, CC19Feb20
not trapped by, VP04May20
power of, BP06May21
privilege, VP04May20
to early signs of problems, VP15Nov21
to God, CC20Nov19
value of, CC23Sep20
when, VP04May20
whispers, VP15Nov21
why we don’t, BP07May20
Lists, for raising children ineffective, CC30Sep20
Little things:
accumulate, CC23Sep20
add up, BP18Jun20
big consequences, BP17Oct19
effects of, BP23Jul20
iceberg metaphor for, BP18Jun20
importance of, VP08Mar21
must be addressed, BP17Dec20
neglect of, VP08Mar21
no such thing as, CC21Oct20, BP17Dec20, BP20May21, VP07Jun21
none, CC10Mar21
not so little, CC23Sep20
respond to, CC24Feb21
sometimes ignore, CC14Apr21
Loans, to children, VP18Nov19
Locking door, child, CC12Aug20
Looking at children, need for, RLP152-3
Losing, anger at in children, CC24Feb21
Love:
asking for, BP01Apr21
defined by parents’ behavior, PCSD 78-82
defined by parents for children, B21Jan11
defined by parents’ words, PCSD 78-9
definition not giving, CC05Aug20
everyone needs, BP06Feb20
health, VP09Aug21
necessary for parent to have, VP30Mar20
power of, BP01Apr21
proactive, CC13Jan21
reserve of, BP29Jul21
the answer, VP18Oct21
Loveandteach (Loving and teaching):
balance, BP16Jul20
benefits, B20Nov17
can be fast , CC16Sep20
changing the old rules, CC05Aug20
children often not grateful for, VP21Jun21
consistency, BP31Oct19, VP09Dec19
consistently, B14Nov14
constant balance, CC24Jun20
described, PCSD 234-5, PCSD 285-7, PCSD 364-5
different for different children, CC18Mar20
early age, CC23Sep20
early easier than later, CC07Jul21
earlier better, VP17May21
education need in, B29Jan16
effect of not, VP26Jul21, B11Apr22
effects, DC329, B28Nov11, B10Feb12, B23Jul14
examples, BP16Jul20, B24Apr17, B22Jan18, BP26Dec19, VP09Nov20
examples, see PCSD Treatment, examples
examples of, CC17Jun20, CC26Feb20, DC480, DC503, B17Jan07, DC487-488, B19Jun07, B28Nov11, B10Feb12, B18Jul14, B23Jul14, VP15Mar21, PCSD 305-6, PCSD 310, PCSD 349-50, RLW204, RLW266
fake, VP26Jul21
how long before effective, VP30Dec19
instead of criticizing, CC30Dec20
intermittent is hard work, CC11Dec19
like food for the soul, CC18Dec19
more effective than controlling, BP19Aug21
not a balance, CC20Nov19
overall picture of, CC23Sep20
parents, B17Apr18, B17Jul18
preferred by children to enabling most of the time, CC05Aug20
power of, CC26Feb20, VP26Jul21
purpose, B20Nov17
required, BP11Jun20, B11Apr22
response to attacking, B22Jan18
result is in the flow, CC06Nov19
results, VP14Oct19
results in freedom and joy, VP20Jan20
right combination like building a fire, BP16Jul20
successes in, VP23Dec19, CC02Sep20
unbalanced, B22Feb17
worthless without trust of our children, BP17Sep20
younger the better, BP05Nov20
Loved-loving-responsible:
always the goal, not control, CC29Apr20
happiness results from, VP25Jan21
happier, VP23Dec19
Loving:
alone is enabling, VP17Feb20
admitting that we’re not or haven’t been as parents, RLP214, RLP243
before teaching, CC29Jul20
choice, VP06Jan20
choosing when, CC09Sep20
eliminates fear, CC17Feb21
gives us power to teach, CC02Dec20
giving people what they need not what they want, DC211–212–213
impossible without feeling loved, VP30Mar20
how when child defiant, CC13May20
learning from loving children, BP05Aug21
lifetime effort as opposed to choosing zero unloving, CC18Dec19
makes you invincible, CC17Feb21
not effective without teaching, VP17Feb20
one-way, parent to child, RLP69
pattern allows for exceptions, CC06May20
proactive, CC01Jul20
stop anything not, VP04Jan21
teaching about, CC09Sep20, CC19May21
the goal, not stopping bad behaviors, CC14Apr21
vs enabling, CC05Aug20
vs liking, VP13Sep21
Lubricant, for rifles in Vietnam, BP04Mar21
Lust, teaching children about, VP14Sep20
Lying:
learned early, CC24Feb21
parents, RLP40-42, RLP86-7
parents, effects of, VP11May20
parents teach children to, RLP39-41, RLP136
parents to children, effects of, RLP126
parents to children, why, RLP126
teaching about, CC28Jul21
teaching the effect of, CC27May20
teaching young children, CC24Feb21
M
Magic:
dangers of, BP29Oct20
definition of, BP29Oct20
desire for natural, BP29Oct20
disappointment of, BP29Oct20
examples of, BP29Oct20
vs miracles, BP29Oct20
Manipulating, teaching children dangers of, CC03Jun20
Manipulation:
children of parents, VP15Jun20, CC21Oct20
example of from children, CC18Dec19
responding to, VP28Jun21
Manual, for parenting, BP07Jan21
Maps:
need for, BP21Jan21
Portuguese, BP21Jan21
Marathon:
running, VP08Feb21
training for, VP08Feb21
Marijuana, effects of, B12Aug12, VP09Mar20
Masturbation, RLP396
Mealtime, opportunity for connection, CC29Apr20
Measles, vaccination for, BP05Nov20
Media:
effects of, BP23Jul20
parents portrayed badly in, CC29Apr20
Medication, for behavior, negative effects of, CC08Jul20
Memory, none of trauma, CC09Jun21
Menstruation, explaining to child, CC05May21
Mental health:
responsibility of parents, VP16Aug21
used as excuse, CC02Dec20
Mental health diagnoses, dangers of, VP16Aug21
Mental illness, over-diagnosed, VP16Aug21
Mentors, like a helping hand in the swamp, BP04Jun20
Mess(es):
cleaning is part of making, CC25Nov20
responding to, CC22Apr20
Mickelson, golf, BP08Jul21
Miracle(s):
example, VP27Apr20, CC06Jan21
fast, VP05Jul21
follows work, VP27Apr20
how, CC06Jan21
vs magic, BP29Oct20
Misbehavior, asking questions, CC21Jul21
Mistakes:
correcting with fun, CC11Aug21
minimizing, VP10Feb20
no guilt or doubt required for, BP27Feb20
pointing out lovingly, CC06May20
price of minimizing, VP10Feb20
teaching about not bad, VP21Oct19
unavoidable in parenting, BP27Feb20
Mocking, responding to, VP02Nov20
Modesty, clothing, B02Aug17
Money:
decisions about, VP05Oct20
teaching about, CC29Jul20
Morning, getting up time, CC25Mar20
Motions, going through, VP28Sep20
Motivation:
elements of, VP11Jan21
for parenting, VP11Jan21
Motorcycle, riding, CC14Jul21
Mountain climbing, lifelike, BP09Apr20
Multi-tasking, lie of, CC17Feb21
Musical Chairs, handling, CC22Apr20
N
Nagging:
alternative, VP16Mar20
foolishness of, CC11Dec19
not effective, BP19Aug21
Nail, want of, CC23Sep20
Names, sacred, CC11Nov20
Narcissistic personality disorder:
how developed, VP30Nov20
how to prevent, VP30Nov20
response to pain, VP30Nov20
selfishness on steroids, VP30Nov20
signs of in children, VP30Nov20
teaching child about parent with, CC05May21
warnings of, CC07Apr21
Natural:
meaning of, CC09Sep20
overcoming tendency toward, CC09Sep20
Needs vs wants, VP03Aug20, CC19Aug20
Negative tone, multiple motivations, CC12Aug20
Net present value, BP18Feb21
Nicholson, Jack, BP11Feb21
No, saying:
avoiding saying, CC14Apr21
confusing to children if we don’t mean it, RLP254
early, VP04Jan21
examples, DC11, B07May14
how, CC11Aug21
not too often, RLP254, RLP287
parents afraid of, B11Apr11
power of, VP04Jan21
saying to child, DC391, B11Apr11, B07May14, CC31Mar21
to adult child, CC25Mar20
to fear, thoughts, anger, B24Sep14
without anger, DC11
Noah, flood, VP02Mar20
Noise, responding to, CC30Dec20
Normal:
not necessarily healthy, VP25Jan21
not same as healthy, CC03Jun20
O
Obedience:
needed by children, but for their benefit, not ours, RLP68
parents take from children as power, RLP35-6, RLP68
sometimes necessary, RLP285-7
Obedient child, responding to, CC18Mar20
Objectifying, appearance, BP05Dec19
Obligation:
don’t act out of, CC20Jan21
not good criterion for making decisions, VP03Aug20
not helpful in real loving, CC19Feb20
Obstacles:
gratitude for, CC19Feb20
part of life, CC19Feb20
Oil:
changing, BP05Nov20
for rifles in Vietnam, BP04Mar21
Older children:
more difficult to love and teach, BP05Nov20
require much harder consequences, CC07Jul21
Olympics, training for, VP18Nov19
One-on-one time, more important than family time, CC24Feb21
One parent:
angry, VP31Aug20
enough to love and teach, VP27Jul20
not involved in Real Love, VP31Aug20
One thing, leads to another, BP09Jan20
Opinion(s):
giving to child, CC19May21
often superficial, BP30Jan20
people usually asking for confirmation of theirs, not for ours, CC29Jul20
Opinions of others, evaluating worth of, VP19Apr21
Optimism, fatal, BP22Oct20
Orbit:
achieving, VP28Dec20
velocity, VP28Dec20
Order, children like to be part of universe, CC04Dec19
Other children, bad influence, CC25Aug21
Outbursts, preceded by clues, VP06Jul20
Outcomes, don’t control, CC26Aug20
Overprotecting:
dangers, BP21Oct21
examples, BP27May21, BP21Oct21
Overthinking, BP24Oct19
Overwhelmed, response to, VP20Apr20
Owner’s manual, Parenting Training, CC21Oct20
P
Pain:
assessment of, CC26Feb20
avoiding not good, VP07Jun21
avoiding often harmful, VP08Feb21
cause, VP18Oct21
cause of addiction, BP20Aug20
causes Getting and Protecting Behaviors, VP01Mar21
children unaware of own, CC26Feb20
do not treat in child, VP07Jun21
little now to prevent more later, BP12Aug21
necessary, VP02Aug21
necessary for child’s growth, BP29Apr21
part of learning, CC21Oct20
physical, explaining to child, CC22Apr20
protecting children from harmful, VP02Aug21
revealing, CC26Feb20
small now must be endured to prevent greater later, VP07Jun21
unavoidable in growth, VP08Feb21
Parent:
addressing by child with respect and disrespect, CC04Mar20
one enough, VP27Jul20
parent, one sometimes enough, CC02Dec20
Parenting:
accepting children, DC10, DC28
adult children, DC196–197, DC208–209–210, DC439–440–441, DC498–499–500, B23Oct06, B31Oct14
advice about in world missing the element of love, CC29Apr20
agreement of parents in, DC81–82–83
allowing children choices as they understand consequences, EWB389, EWB439, BWB410, BWB448-9
always about Real Love, BWB448-9
anger makes loving parenting impossible, EWB369, BWB295
answers, B13Dec17
attacking, DC8
bad, examples, B26Aug15
bad behavior children, meaning, DC6, DC8
behaviors that hurt children, B27Jun11
Biblical references to BWB295-6
bouncing between extremes, CC23Sep20
can’t give what we don’t have, EWB371, BWB396
can’t teach without loving, BWB447-8
cardinal rule of, EWB262, BWB295
children fighting, DC6, DC7, DC8, DC9, DC10
children’s idea of loving, EWB425, BWB439
children’s self-esteem, DC48
choice, giving, B30Mar15
confidence essential, B14Nov14
confidence in, B10Feb12, B14Nov14
consequences and, B23Apr14
consequences, purpose of, EWB269-70, EWB395
consequences in, EWB267-9, EWB377, EWB395, EWB440, B11Apr16
consequences vs. punishments, EWB267, EWB395
consistency, B14Nov14
consistent effort required, B22Jul11, B12Nov12
contracts with children, B28Nov08
control, DC6, B03Aug11
controlling children communicates lack of faith, EWB389, BWB410
controlling children, effects of, EWB439
controlling children eliminates opportunities to learn, RL217-19
controlling children violates Law of Choice, EWB389
controlling vs. permissiveness, RL216
courage required, DC500, B06Feb12, B10Feb12, CC13May20, CC03Jun20, VP20Jul20, CC03Mar21
critically important, B05Feb16
difficult, B30Mar15, CC11Mar20
difficult when teaching children about life and love, B14Sep11
discipline and, RL215-16
discomfort required, B29Apr15
disobedient children, EWB368-79, BWB393-4
effects of anger, DC7, DC8, DC36, B01Jun11
effects of approval and disapproval, DC7, DC28, DC35
effort required, B22Jul11
enabling children, B15Sep14
enormity of, B30Jan17
everything easier with Real Love, BWB455
evidence that we’re loving children, BWB294-5
evidence that we’re not loving children, BWB295-7
example of Real Love interaction, DC10
examples, B23Mar11
examples of bad, B07Oct16, BP27May21
expectations of children, DC34
faith in children inspires them, EWB423, BWB438
FELT by children, CC15Jul20
firm, loving, B18Apr11
foundation of, DC81–82–83
good a result of loving and teaching, RL212-13
harm not intended, DC8
homework, EWB440
how we teach our children to fight, EWB371, BWB395
imperfect, BP21Nov19
indulging, B26Aug15
Law of Choice and, BWB450
learned, RLP95-6
learning, BP02Jan20
learning about, EWB265, EWB363
learning how to love, DC141–142–143
learning involves mistakes, BP21Nov19
life or death, CC21Oct20
lifesaving, BP09Apr20
listening and, B16Dec11
love first, then everything else, EWB439-40, BWB294,BWB 448
love and teach, DC10, DC84–85–86, DC141–142–143, B18Apr11, B31Oct14
loveandteach, examples, B24Apr17
love unconditionally, helps with peer pressure, DC13
loving and teaching, B02Mar18
loving and teaching the key, BWB294, BWB439
loving children means teaching them to feel loved, loving, responsible, EWB 425, BWB 439
loving children means to care about their genuine happiness, BWB 439
loving one way, DC465
loving without teaching is harmful, BWB 430
mama’s boy, DC21
manual for, BP07Jan21
miracles, VP23Dec19
mistakes inevitable, BP21Nov19
must get loved first, DC8, DC28
need for all our lives, CC15Jul20
need to increase children’s choices as they understand consequences, BWB410
need to teach children independence, EWB389, BWB410
never speak while angry, DC9
no training required, B17Mar14
not legal contest, B28Nov08
not taught to most of us, RLP95-6
not technique, RLP95
not middle ground between controlling and permissiveness, DC141, B18Apr11
not permissive, B23Oct 06, B11Apr11, B18Apr11
one step at a time, VP20Apr20
one-way flow of love, parent to child, EWB391-3, BWB412-14
overprotecting, B07Oct16
perfection not required, CC06May20
permissive, B02Aug17
permissive harmful, B11Apr11, B27Jun11
permissive not effective, BWB 450
persistence, despite resistance, CC04Dec19
power of, B30Jan17
preparation required, CC13May20
prepare child for life, CC04Dec19
preparing children for life, CC02Sep20
protecting children often not good, B04Apr12
provide safety with firm love, B18Apr11
punishments in, EWB273
purpose of, DC35, DC36
Real Love in, examples, EWB257-62, BWB290-4
Real Love required, B07Sep12
rescuing children, effects of, EWB423, see Rescuing
rescuing teaches children they are incompetent, EWB423
responsibility to love children, DC36, B23Oct06
responsibility to teach children life, B14Sep11, B09Nov11, B23Apr14
risks, BP13Aug20
saves lives, B05Feb16
saying no can be loving, EWB395, BWB414
see Anger, “I don’t love you” is the message
solution for all world’s problems, CC17Feb21
spirit of, VP03Feb20
spoiling, B15Sep14, B07Oct16
start early, VP02Mar20
taught poorly in the world, CC16Sep20
teach by example, DC8
teaching, BWB295-6
teaching by example, BWB302
teaching children about anger, B23Jul14
teaching children about choice, B06Feb12, B23Jul14
teaching children about controlling, B23May11
teaching children about fear, B23Jul14
teaching children about life, B14Sep11
teaching children about sex, DC190–191
teaching children not to be victims, BWB411-12
teaching children Real Love, DC10, DC150–151, B14Sep11, B23Jul14
teaching children responsibility, DC84–85–86, DC141–142–143, B09Aug11
teaching children with consequences, see Consequences
teaching disobedient children, EWB368-79, BWB393
teaching irresponsible children, EWB368-79, BWB401-2
teaching responsibility, B30Mar15, B07Oct16
telling the truth about our flaws in, EWB371-7, BWB396
test for whether we’re loving our children, BWB294-5
trading with children, B28Nov08, B21Jan11
training for is lousy, EWB377-8
training not required, B17Mar14
training should be required, B07Sep12
truth-telling, DC9, B06Feb12
understanding a child’s needs, DC7
understanding fighting among children, EWB369-70, BWB395
use principles, not controlling, DC143
using Real Love, DC9
violating the law of choice with children, EWB389, BWB410
we were not prepared for, BP21May20
what bad behavior means, DC6, DC8
whining, reason for, EWB391, BWB411-12
without feeling loved, children can’t learn, BWB448-9
world teaching badly, CC20May20
wrong to expect love from children, EWB391-3
Parenting Training:
changes parent as much as child, CC22Jul20
children need to watch where possible, CC05Aug20
must be diligently applied, CC22Jul20
puts us all on the same page, BP22Apr21
Parents:
admitting that they do NOT love their children unconditional is the first step to take, DC141, B23Oct06, B10Mar08
afraid of children, CC15Jan20, CC25Mar20, CC13May20, CC20May20, CC28Jul21, BP12Aug21
afraid of their children’s disapproval, B11Apr11
arguing, DC55
attached to belief that they love their children, EWB262, EWB373, BWB294
authority, not peers, VP11May20
believe they are loving, PCSD 75, PCSD 78-9
blaming of unproductive, PCSD 294, PCSD 308
blaming vs. understanding, DC13, RL11, EWB59
can’t give what they don’t have, EWB371, BWB396
can’t love just because they are, DC161
cause Getting and Protecting Behaviors of their children for life, RL147-8
cause of problems in children, DC319–320, B23Oct 06, B17Jan07, 16Nov07, B09Aug11, B09Nov11
cause PCSD, PCSD 20
change rules on children by implementing Real Love, B09Aug11
children follow examples of, CC18Mar20
children loving, DC221–222–223–224
communicate “I don’t love you” with disappointment and anger, EWB262-3, BWB295
comparison of one with the other, PCSD 104
contribute to the whining of their children, EWB391, BWB412-14
controlling, DC6, DC30, B03Aug11, B08Jun12
controlling, why, DC6
cowards, CC28Jul21
cripple children by too much “giving”, DC361–362, B23Oct 06, B09Aug11
decide how to love and teach, not children, CC24Jun20
defending love of, RL12-13
define world for children, DC323, B01Apr11, B03May11, B17Feb12, B02Oct17
denial of toward children’s pain, VP08Jun20
deny mistakes, B27Jun11
desire to control children, DC344–345–346–347–348
determine our view of world, RL120, RL147-8
determine way children respond rest of their lives, B01Apr11, B03May11
didn’t get Real Love, RL 11-12, EWB59-61, BWB68-9, BWB396
disagreements between about children, RLP383-5
disappointment at children, effect of, RL147-8
do the best they can, RL11-12, RL33, RLP16
don’t know how to love children, PCSD 84-5, PCSD 108
don’t love children, DC30, B23Oct 06
don’t love children unconditionally, EWB55-9, EWB262-7, BWB 64-8
effect on, RL147-8
effects on children, B09Aug11, B17Feb12
entitle children, B17Apr18, B17Jul18
expect love from their children, EWB391-3, BWB412-13
fail to love only because they were not loved themselves, PCSD 108, RLW 17
fear their children, CC29Apr20
finding love before giving, CC04Nov20
follow example of their parents, 16Nov07
foundation for children, BP27Nov19
get Imitation Love from children, RL213-4
getting power from children, DC149–150–151, B08Jun12
giving children too much, B09Aug11
gods to their children, B02Oct17
gratitude for, B08Jan16
heroes, BP14May20, CC27May20
hostage to children, VP11May20
hostages of children, B11Apr11, B09Aug11, CC03Mar21
how to talk to children, B23Oct 06
hurt children by being controlling, B27Jun11
hurt children by being offended, B27Jun11
hurt children by being right, B27Jun11
hurt children by not saying no, B23Oct06
hurt children by teaching wrong beliefs, B17Feb12
hurt children unintentionally, PCSD 12-13, PCSD 84-5, PCSD 91-2, PCSD 102-3, PCSD 308, PCSD 348
hurting children for power, DC149–150–151
influence on children, B16Nov07
innately want to love children, PCSD 102-3
job to save lives, not to comfort, CC21Oct20
kings and queens, VP15Jun20
kings and queens training kings and queens, CC15Jan20
laziness of, CC27May20
loveandteach, B17Apr18, B17Jul18, BP02Dec21
learning about our failings can be painful, CC29Jul20
love children sometimes, PCSD 101-4
love more when children “good”, DC7, EWB55-9,EWB 393, BWB64-8
loving children, see Loving making children responsible for their happiness, RLP30
loving by children, CC16Oct19
lying to children, VP11May20
make mistakes as they learn to love and teach, VP29Jun20
manipulating children for Imitation Love, DC315–316, RLP70, RLP79-86
manipulate children for praise, RLP79-81
most important job to love children, DC35, DC36
most not loved themselves as children, RLP96-7
must admit mistakes in not loving children, PCSD 101
must be loved first, DC8, DC36
must be loved first by other adults, EWB371-73, BWB396
must be trusted while they learn, VP29Jun20
must tell truth about themselves, B10Mar08
need love, CC27Jan21
need Real Love before they can give it, RL11-12, RL33, RL214-15
need for children’s love, RLP69
need for contacting other adults to get loved, RLP128-31
no blaming of, DC319–320, EWB371, BWB396
not having time to learn their job, CC10Jun20
not motivated to learn, VP11Jan21
not responsible, examples, CC10Jun20
not responsible for happiness of older children, RLP352
not prepared for their responsibilities, RLP22-3, RLP95-6
not taking responsibility seriously, CC08Jul20
not technique, EWB375, BWB398
older, care of, B25Nov15
older, giving advice to, DC265–266, B25Nov15
often don’t love unconditionally, DC74, DC75
portrayal in media terrible, CC29Apr20
personal choices none of children’s business, VP11May20
prepare child for life, CC04Dec19
prepared poorly for the job, EWB377-8, BWB401, BWB455
protecting children sometimes unwise, DC270–271
puzzled by children’s behavior, B27Jun11
require children to love them, EWB391-3, BWB 412-13
responsible for happiness of children, RL215, RL218-19
responsible for unhappiness of children, RL11-14, RL214-16
responsible for loving their children, B23Oct06
responsible for our judgments and Getting and Protecting Behaviors, EWB408, BWB426-7
responsible to love and teach, RLP125
responsibilities, three, RLP25, RLP125, RLP352
responsibility for behavior of children, DC407
responsible for happiness of children early in life, RLP2, RLP15-16, RLP17, RLP21-2, RLP96, RLP99-100, RLP132, RLP351
role in healing wounded children, PCSD 294-5, PCSD 319-24
slaves, VP15Jun20
society devalues, CC23Sep20
speaking negatively to children about other parent, DC419–420–421
take responsibility from their children inappropriately, BWB401-2
taking responsibility for children, freedom of, RLP23
taking responsibility for children’s unhappiness simply most effective choice, RLP21-2, RLP3
take responsibility from their children inappropriately, EWB 377-8
teach by example, DC8
teach children combination of Imitation Love that they seek rest of their lives, B28Mar11, B09Aug11
teach children Getting and Protecting Behaviors, B09Aug11
teach children how world is, PCSD 68-72, PCSD 165
teach children life, B23Apr14
teach children their concept of self-esteem, DC93, B23Apr14
teach children to behave badly, B29Sep14
teach children to buy Imitation Love, EWB 277-81, BWB 412-14
teach children view of whole world, B28Mar11, B09Aug11, B23Apr14
teach entitlement to children, B17Apr18, B17Jul18
teachable, CC30Oct19
teaching and loving, RL215-16
tell truth about themselves to adults and children for different reasons, BWB 400
telling truth about not being loving, EWB 265-7, EWB371-7, BWB396-400
tend to avoid learning, CC19Aug20
test for whether they’re loving, EWB262-3
trade Imitation Love with their children, BWB400
trading with children, B28Nov08
train children like dogs, B29Sep14
train children to behave badly, B03Dec11, B23Apr14, B29Sep14
truth telling to child, B27Jan12
understanding ours important, PCSD 165-6
unfair with children, B09Aug11
use children for Imitation Love, BWB437
useless if they vacillate, get angry, hesitate, CC20May20
using child as pawn, DC55
using children for Imitation Love, DC315–316, B11Apr11
want child to change without work on parent’s part, CC22Jul20
want easy way to raise children, CC13May20
wanting love from children, CC19Aug20
we find marriage partner like our, B28Mar11
weakened if they don’t take action with children, CC29Apr20
what to say to children when wrong, B23Oct06
why not motivated, VP11Jan21
why they don’t love their children, DC352
weakened if they don’t take action with children, CC29Apr20
Parties:
children attending, CC22Jan20
standards for, CC22Jan20
Partner:
helping to live Real Love in parenting, CC12Aug20
more important than children, CC02Sep20
one enough, CC05Aug20
only one doing Real Love, CC15Apr20
unloving toward child, responding to, CC12Aug20
what if not interested in parenting? CC05Aug20
Past:
escaping effects, VP28Dec20
healing with Real Love, BP24Jun21
let go, BP24Jun21
Pattern:
important, not exceptions, VP24Aug20
of learning, VP24Aug20
Pausing:
before reacting, CC25Nov20
before reacting, example, CC25Nov20
in conversation, CC17Feb21
PCSD:
cause, VP25Jan21
examples of, VP08Jun20, CC09Jun21
hypervigilance, BP06Aug20
root, VP25Jan21
solution, CC09Jun21
treatment, VP28Dec20
Pearl, man named, BP03Sep20
Peace:
importance of, CC24Mar21
must have, VP22Feb21
People pleaser, response, CC14Jul21
People pleasing, responding to child who does, CC18Mar20
Perfection, not required from parents, BP27Feb20
Perfectly loving, not required before teaching, CC12Aug20
Permissiveness:
examples, RLP195-6
manipulative, RLP195-6
not effective, RLP66, RLP136, RLP196
response to children’s Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLP194-6
Persistence:
benefits, VP02Dec19
children use against parents, VP25Nov19
despite resistance, CC04Dec19
necessary, VP27Apr20
required for parenting, BP21May20, BP13Aug20
results of, VP27Apr20, VP16Nov20
Petrov, hero, BP14May20
Pets:
children and, CC04Nov20
how to treat, CC15Apr20
Phone restriction, with adult children, CCMar20
Phones:
awareness of dangers, BP26Mar20
danger of, CC22Jan20, VP09Mar20, VP04Oct21, BP07Oct21
dangers compared to those of guns, BP26Mar20
limiting use of, CC26Feb20
questions to ask, VP04Oct21, BP07Oct21
transparency in, CC26Feb20
when, VP04Oct21, BP07Oct21
Plan, “I don’t like it” not a, VP26Oct20
Planning, benefits of, CC02Sep20
Playing:
importance of, CC11Aug21
learning how, CC11Aug21
Poking, responding to, CC22Apr20
Police, when to call, CC12Aug20
Pooping, where and when, B14Oct15
Pornography (Porn):
addiction, DC77, RLWM 267-9
addiction young, CC19May21
cause, DC77, DC78
early, VP07Jun21
treatment, DC77, DC78, DC79
Positive feedback:
examples, CC16Sep20, CC04Nov20, VP16Nov20, CC11Aug21, RLW 46
characteristics, RLW47-8, RLW217-18
how to give, RLW217-18,
needed, VP16Nov20
Positive reinforcement, examples, CC14Oct20
Post, standing, BP11Feb21
Pouting, responding to, CC31Mar21
Power, real, CC09Jun21
Praise (Praising):
bad, examples, BP18Mar21
don’t, CC19May21
positive feedback instead, CC16Sep20
responding to from others about your parenting, CC04Dec19
vs. positive feedback, RLW47-8, RLW217-18
what to do instead, CC11Aug21
Pre-requisites, importance of understanding, VP12Oct20
Preparation:
child needs for life, VP13Jan20
loving and teaching, VP13Jan20
necessary in parenting, VP02Mar20
parenting requires, VP27Jan20
required for parenting, VP01Jun20
we didn’t get for parenting, BP21May20
Pretending, children do about truth, CC20May20
Principles:
important, not personality, CC06Nov19
more important than techniques, BP23Apr20
parenting with instead of power, CC11Nov20
Priorities:
feelings first, VP22Feb21
setting, VP22Feb21
Private parts, talking about, VP21Dec20
Privileges:
accompanied by responsibility, CC19Aug20
earned, CC12Aug20
Proactive attention, CC27Jan21
examples, CC07Apr21
Proactive love, effects of, CC13Jan21
Problem(s):
address early, BP17Dec20
always rooted in childhood, VP17May21
children avoiding, CC13Jan21
growth from, BP02Sep21
parenting over time, BP30Sep21
serious require serious solutions, CC28Apr21
world, BP09Sep21
Procrastination, real cause of, CC09Jun21
Promises:
changing with circumstances, CC21Apr21
empty, CC10Mar21
Property, damage to, responding, CC30Dec20
Protecting:
excessive, CC09Oct19
not from consequences, VP28Oct19
Protection, don’t, VP20Jan20
Protests, vs love, BP03Sep20
Pruning, garden and children, BP25Jun20
PTSD, hypervigilance, BP06Aug20
Punctuality, teaching, CC07Apr21
R
Racism:
parenting problem, BP15Oct20
response to, BP03Sep20
solution, BP15Oct20, BP09Sep21
Rapids:
whitewater, BP11Jun20, VP13Jul20
whitewater, saving child from drowning in, CC21Oct20
Rat Park, description, BP20Aug20
Reacting, vs choice, BP14Nov19, CC25Nov20
Reaction:
don’t decide what’s right based on child’s, CC24Jun20
vs choice, CC09Jun21
Real Love:
all deserve, BP10Jun21
answer to world’s problems, BP09Sep21
contrary to the whole world, CC11Nov20
creates confidence, BP26Nov20
effects fast, CC15Apr20
effects of on children CC12Oct19, VP29Jun20
initial negative effects, BP27Aug20
initially disorienting to many, BP27Aug20
heals past, BP24Jun21
live example of giving, CC04Nov20
makes everything else easier and better, BP04Mar21
vs Imitation Love, VP13Sep21
Reboot, BP24Oct19
Reef, dead, BP18Nov21
Refeeding syndrome, described, BP27Aug20
Refusal to listen, responding to, CC29Jan20
Reluctance:
makes learning impossible, CC04Mar20
must be addressed, CC08Apr20
responding to, CC04Mar20
Remorse:
for behavior not consequences, CC26Aug20
real vs pretend, CC26Aug20
Reparations, to children, CC09Jun21
Repetition, not when children already know, CC20Jan21
Requests, deciding how to answer, VP03Aug20
Rescue, children, bad, B21Oct15
Rescuing:
avoid, B20Dec13, VP22Feb21
difficult and messy, B13Feb12
don’t, VP16Nov20, VP15Mar21
keeps children from being responsible, BWB439
negative consequences of, B19Jul12, B28Dec12
not, VP28Oct19
not, examples, VP27Jul20
not good, BP29Apr21
often harmful, BWB323
perpetuates weakness, BWB 437
results of, BWB438
vs. Real Love, RLV 256-7
Resistance, responding to, CC31Mar21, CC14Jul21
Resources, for parenting, BP19Nov20
Responsibility:
and choice, BP11Mar21
benefits of, VP26Oct20
children avoid, VP27Jan20
consequences, CC07Jul21
don’t push past what was assigned, CC08Apr20
examples of, CC16Dec20
failure to teach, BP21Oct21
financial, teaching, CC28Apr21
for the happiness of others, VP01Feb21
ignoring, cost, CC07Jul21
learning, CC26Aug20
natural desire for, VP30Dec19
no motivation if child unhappy, CC20Nov19
not teaching expensive, VP21Jun21
pride in, VP30Dec19
requiring, VP16Nov20
successes in, VP16Nov20, CC06Jan21
successes in teaching, BP19Mar20
teaches confidence, CC29Jul20
teaching, VP26Oct20, CC02Dec20, VP15Mar21, CC31Mar21, BP27May21, DC381–382,DC498–499–500
teaching children, RLP322-61
teaching, examples, VP18Nov19, VP27Jul20
teaching hard, VP18Nov19
teaching to adult child, VP21Jun21
teaching with Real Love, RLP98, RLP334-8, RLV 192-3, RLV 193-6, RLW132-3, RLW299-302
teaching young, VP07Oct19
what to do when child won’t learn, CC10Jun20
why teach, VP26Oct20
world will teach, CC10Jun20
Results, examples, VP05Jul21
Right, do without regard for what others will think, CC26Aug20
Right, being:
responding to, CC02Dec20
teaching about, CC28Apr21
trap of, B31Jan07
Risk:
involved with change, VP31Aug20
parenting, BP13Aug20
Rock, children need one, CC25Aug21
Role-playing, preparing child with, VP04Nov19, CC14Jul21
Rot:
base, BP17Dec20
trunk, BP17Dec20
Rowboat, parents are to children, BP27Feb20
Rudeness, children responding to, VP10Aug20, VP17Aug20
Rules:
breaking never a small thing, CC01Apr20
changing difficult, CC02Dec20
inconsistency bad, CC25Mar20
same for parents and children mostly, CC12Aug20
simple, CC17Jun20
so many, not true, VP28Sep20
S
Safety, role of, CC04Mar20
Saving children:
don’t, VP12Oct20
examples, CC16Dec20, BP21Oct21
Schedules:
changing, CC21Apr21
importance of, CC30Sep20
keeping, CC21Apr21
School:
getting ready for, VP22Feb21
teaching importance of, CC31Mar21
trouble in, CC12Feb20
School of life, VP02Dec19
examples, CC18Mar20, VP22Jun20, VP06Jul20
metaphor, BP11Jun20
parents teach, CC02Sep20
Schoolwork:
allowing children to make decisions about according to age, RLP268-9, RLP333
behind in, CC21Apr21
Screaming:
handling, CC22Apr20
success in stopping, CC09Sep20
Screen Time:
eliminating, CC16Dec20
responding to, CC03Jun20
see Electronics
Screens:
parents give up their job to, CC16Sep20
potential for danger, BP26Mar20
provide teaching opportunities for parents, CC17Feb21
raising our children, CC13May20
Seeing, need for, VP25Oct21
Self-deception:
described, VP05Apr21
response, VP05Apr21
Self-harm:
dangers of, CC29Jan20
investigating, CC29Jan20
response to, CC30Dec20
Selfies:
dangers of, CC03Jun20
incidence of, CC03Jun20
Selfish, why, CC09Sep20
Selfishness:
addiction of, CC26Aug20
addressing, VP18Jan21
human condition, CC02Dec20
natural, CC02Dec20
price of, CC01Apr20
responding to, CC08Apr20, VP23Aug21
teaching about, CC09Sep20
telling the truth about, CC08Apr20
Self-worth:
addressing, VP18May20
teaching, VP14Oct19
Serving children, can be harmful to them, VP22Feb21
Sewer, access to children, VP06Sep21
Sex:
children, responding to, CC02Dec20
distraction of, BP12Nov20
talking about, VP21Dec20
teaching children about, RL 212, RLP391-7, VP14Sep20
Sexual touching, teaching about, VP21Dec20
Shame:
child feeling about Real Love family being “different”, CC17Mar21
child feeling for consequences received, CC17Mar21
Shaming, of children, examples, CC09Jun21
Sharing,
how to promote, CC27Oct20
not, responding to, CC15Jul20
opportunity to teach ownership, VP16Dec19
Ship:
maintaining, BP18Feb21
parents captain of, BP02Jan20
Shopping, with children, how, CC02Sep20
Shut up, way to break habit, VP27Apr20
Sibling rivalry: VP11Nov19
responding to, CC17Feb21
Siblings:
disruptive, CC25Aug21
enlisting help stopping a behavior of a child, VP28Sep20
give opportunity to love, RL 217-19
opportunity to learn about love, RLP367
stopping arguments between, RLP367-8
trading Imitation Love between, DC422–423
use to provide examples for child being unloving, CC13May20
Sick, being changes everything in responding to child, VP30Mar20
Sick children, response to, CC06Jan21
Sickness, responding to in child, CC26Aug20
Sighing, what to do instead, CC17Feb21
Signs:
of future problems, VP15Nov21
of pain in children, we must see, CC21Oct20
Silence:
implies consent, VP06Jul20
meanings of, BP07May20
Simplicity, need for, VP22Feb21
Sincerity, required in learning, CC14Apr21
Slavery:
parents cause of, BP14Nov19
reacting instead of choosing, BP14Nov19
still exists, BP14Nov19
Sleeping, result of many factors, VP24May21
Small things (see also Little Things):
add up, VP08Jun20
effect of, VP08Jun20, BP22Oct20
important, VP27Jul20
matter, VP02Nov20
no, VP29Mar21
none, CC10Mar21
Snakes:
hidden, BP14Jan21
watch for, BP14Jan21
Snottiness, in child, responding to, VP09Nov20
Sobriety:
achieving, CC26Aug20
definition, CC26Aug20
feeling of, VP17Feb20
length, VP17Feb20
Social Dilemma, The, movie, CC16Sep20
Social Media:
effects of, CC26Feb20, CC16Sep20
parents give up their job to, CC16Sep20
successes in teaching about, CC29Jul20
use for teaching children, CC29Jul20
Solutions, quick, CC28Apr21
Speaking, often without words, CC12Feb20
Spending, teaching about, BP19Dec19
Spirituality, example, CC09Jun21
Spoiling, examples, BP27May21
Spouse:
abusive, responding to, CC15Jul20
one unloving, CC17Feb21
resistant to Real Love, BP02Dec21
telling child truth about, CC03Feb21
when to consider divorcing, CC02Sep20
Squeeze bottle, Vietnam, BP04Mar21
Stacking, understanding instead, BP30Jul20
Stagecoach, story of, CC22Jan20, VP09Mar20
Stepchildren:
conflicts about, DC81–82–83
Steps, keep taking over and over, VP12Oct20
Stop:
don’t say, BP11Jun20
less effective than loving and teaching, BP11Jun20
not effective, VP13Jul20
Store owner, charging incorrectly, VP23Mar20
Stress:
eliminating, VP22Feb21
helping child with, CC30Sep20
responding to, VP28Sep20
Studies, dangers of, CC26Feb20
Stuttering, response to, CC30Dec20
Success(es):
do what it takes, VP24May21
examples, BP19Mar20, CC18Mar20, CC06May20, CC24Jun20, CC22Jul20, CC05Aug20, CC16Sep20, VP24May21, VP09Aug21, VP01Nov21
not same as happiness, BP26Nov20
parenting pointing out, VP13Apr20
stories of, CC10Feb21, BP29Jul21
teenager, in her own words, CC27May20
Suez Canal, blocked, BP20May21
Suicide:
child, examples, CC21Oct20
denial of, VP25Oct21
signs of long before act, CC21Oct20
Sulking, responding to, CC13Jan21, CC31Mar21
Super Bowl, parents preparing for, CC24Feb21
Supervision, of what children read and see, CC17Feb21
Surrender:
identifying, CC26Aug20
required for change, VP24May21
Surviving, vs thriving, BP30Apr20
Swamp, like parenting, BP04Jun20
T
Taking, from others, CC02Oct19, VP16Dec19
Talking:
endless, dealing with, CC18Nov20
too much to children, CC16Dec20
Tantrum(s):
often response to lack of zero tolerance, CC06Jan21
responding to, VP21Jun21
response to, CC06Jan21
Tar, ignoring problems like, CC28Apr21
Tasks, accomplishing not the point, CC30Sep20
Tattoos:
children, CC26Feb20
ignore in adult children, CC29Jul20
Teachers:
bad, responding to, DC453–454–455–456
bullies, DC453–454–455–456
development, B29Jan16
effect on children, DC270–271
like parents, CC16Dec20
must understand love, B09Jan08
not taught about love, B09Jan08
power of, B28Nov11
school, like parents, CC16Sep20, CC05May21
story of two, B09Jan08
temporary parents, CC26Feb20
unfair, responding to, CC20Jan21
unkindness toward children, DC270–271, B28Nov11
unkind in school, RLP386-9
Teaching:
after child feels loved, CC20Jan21
best done alone with child sometimes, CC29Jan20
by writing assignments, BP31Oct19
child about negative qualities in parent, CC05May21
child who is paralyzed with pain, CC05May21
children to each other, CC06May20
confidence required, BP10Sep20
consequences as a tool for, see Consequences
cost of not, RLW 202-3
courage required, B09Apr12
desired by employees, RLW 202
difficult with Getting and Protecting Behaviors, RLW 101-2
direct sometimes, CC21Apr21
don’t overwhelm with, CC30Sep20
early, VP04Jan21
empowering, CC31Mar21
eternal laws, not handling problems, CC14Apr21
examples of, CC12Feb20, CC28Apr21, B15Aug12, RLP360-1
fear of, B25Apr16
few words, VP12Jul21
how, B29Dec17
humor in, important, CC29Jan20
immediately bad behaviors occur, VP12Oct20
importance of humor, CC29Jan20
important part of leadership, RLW202-4
increasing difficult during, BP05Mar20
intrusion involved occasionally with, B09Apr12
loveandteach, RLW204
loving and, RLWM 11
loving first, DC22, B09Jan08, B28Nov11
loving is the key, B09Jan08
more effective when loving, RLP146
necessary in addition to loving, RLP171-2, RLW202-4
no fear, CC04Mar20, BP10Sep20
not controlling, CC14Apr21
not possible without simultaneous learning, RLWM 2-3
one thing at a time, CC30Sep20
only as much as people can listen, B19Oct12
other people’s children, CC04Mar20
opportunities to, B15Aug12
purpose, RLW 203-4
purpose to avoid obstacles, B12Dec11
purpose to expand choices, DC428, B12Dec11
questions to ask in association with, RLW213
result of, B20Nov17
require child to say what they learned, CC18Nov20
requiring children to state, CC28Apr21
role of, PCSD 270-71, PCSD 276-85, PCSD 287
safety required first, DC22
see Correcting
see Truth telling
temporary parents, CC26Feb20
with confidence, CC04Mar20
with writing, CC06Nov19
without love, children hear nothing when, RLP146
Teaching children, principles not individual solutions, CC12Feb20
Teasing:
adult children talking to their parents about, CC22Jan20
dangers of, CC22Jan20
escalates, CC11Nov20
responding to, CC22Apr20, VP13Jul20, CC15Jul20, VP19Apr21
stopping, CC30Jun21
when acceptable, CC22Jan20
Techniques, less important than principles, BP23Apr20
Teenager(s):
changes perspective with Real Love, B21Dec16
don’t have to be difficult, CC20May20
happy, CC20May20
learns Real Love, B21Dec16
Teens, 10 commandments for, B10Sep14
Teeth, brushing, CC25Aug21
Television, choosing programs, CC01Jul20
Tent, cold, VP06Apr20
Therapy, traditional, drawbacks of, CC08Jul20
Threatening to move out, response, CC14Jul21
Time:
choosing how to spend, CC09Sep20
keeping more accurate now with synchronized cell phones, BP22Apr21
matters, BP05Nov20
limited, VP14Dec20
respect for, BP28Jan21
Time with children:
freely offer, CC01Jul20
limiting, CC27Jan21
Timer, using, VP14Dec20
Tired, don’t spend time with children when, CC27Jan21
Toddler, RLP49, RLP228
learning victimhood, RLV 78
Toddlers, a**holes, B01Apr16
Toilet, fixing, VP16Nov20
Toilet training, approach to, CC27May20
Tone, importance of, CC29Jan20
Tone of voice:
addressing, CC21Apr21
importance of, CC18Nov20, CC11Aug21
very important, CC12Aug20
Tornado, shelter from, BP30Apr20
Touch:
avoid sexual confusion with, BWB368
fear of, B24Oct11
holding and, B10Dec14
how to, B24Oct11, B10Dec14
loving act, BWB368
need for, B24Oct11, B18Apr14, B10Dec14
Touching, communicating love with, VP24Feb20
Tour de France, training required, CC22Jul20
Trainer, parents are, VP08Feb21
Training:
athletic compared to trials of life, RLV 186-7
discomfort required, B29Apr15
for happiness, B27Nov15
physical, compared to learning Real Love, PCSD 293-4
results, examples, CC07Apr21
why not, VP11Jan21
Trapped:
children hate, CC15Jul20
never, VP04May20
Trauma:
childhood, examples, VP25Jan21
gradual, CC17Jun20
to children often looks small, VP08Jun20
Tree, cutting down, VP23Mar20
Trust:
benefits of, BP17Sep20
children for parents while they learn, VP29Jun20
choice, BP17Sep20
choosing who to, BP17Sep20
essential to loving and teaching, BP17Sep20
fostering, BP17Sep20
required for change, BP23Jan20
Trusting:
power greater than effort, BP16Apr20
power of, BP16Apr20
Trusting child, when to, CC22Jul20
Truth:
behavior speaks, VP18Nov19
inconvenient but not annoying, CC11Mar20
separation from, BP13Feb20
whole, VP10Feb20
Truth-telling:
can’t be reluctant, CC08Apr20
child to parent, examples, CC08Apr20
child must about mistakes, CC21Jul21
children must, CC02Oct19
courage required, CC11Nov20
disarming, CC04Dec19
freedom from, CC19May21
initial, BP28May20
must be done by child, not parent, CC08Apr20
parent to adult child, examples B25Sep17, CC28Apr21
parent to child, B27Jan12, CC11Nov20
parent to child, examples, B25Sep17
parent to child, initial, BP28May20
parent to self, CC22Jul20
parents about selves, examples, CC08Apr20
parents to children, CC30Dec20
parents to children, about parents’ feelings and learning, RLP134-6
parents to children, about parents’ mistakes, RLP126-7
parents to children, about parents’ past, RLP127-32, RLP133-4
parents to children, about the children, purpose, RLP140-1
parents to children, gives them example, RLP126-7, RLP133-4
parents to children, purpose, RLP132
parents to children, purpose not to get loved, RLP132
parents to children, without anger, RLP171
parents to other adults, purpose, RLP132
parents to other adults as practice before trying with children, RLP131
release of, CC26Aug20
relief of, CC19May21
teaching, BP10Mar22
to adult children, CC03Jun20, CC20Jan21
Trying, minimal ineffective, VP24May21
U
Understanding:
better than piling up wrong judgments, BP30Jul20
lack of, claiming, VP23Mar20
Unfair, really inconvenient, VP19Oct20
Unhappiness:
better than piling up wrong judgments
caused by being unloving, VP13Jan20
Unique, children, CC27May20
Unkindness, children responding to, VP10Aug20, VP09Nov20
Unloving:
causes cycle of unhappiness, VP13Jan20
price of, CC17Mar21
stopping not enough, VP28Sep20
Unloving to children,choice, CC18Dec19
Upset child, handling, CC22Apr20
Us, not everything about, BP30Jul20
V
Victimhood:
a language, VP22Mar21
interrupting, VP06Jul20
involved in all other Protecting Behaviors, VP22Mar21
responding to, VP06Jul20 , VP22Mar21
teaching about, VP06Jul20
translating their words into English, VP22Mar21
Victims:
enjoy company, CC19Aug20
goals of, CC19Aug20
“I don’t like it”, VP26Oct20
responding to, CC13Nov19
want rescuing not advice, CC19Aug20
Video game addiction, responding to, CC03Mar21
Video games:
addiction, B17Aug11
controlling of in children, B17Aug11
metaphor, B17Feb16
not socializing, CC14Apr21
Vietnam, war and rifle lubricant, BP04Mar21
Violence, response to, CC24Mar21
Voice to do wrong, responding to, VP28Sep20
Volcano, ash from, BP23Jul20
Voles, eliminating, BP15Jul21
W
Wall:
hole in, VP06Sep21
standing on, BP11Feb21
Wants vs needs, VP03Aug20
Warnings:
one only, CC10Mar21
rarely effective, CC13Jan21
repeated, CC13Jan21
Watches, often not synchronized, BP22Apr21
Watching parents, BP05Dec19
Weakness, children look for, VP25Nov19
Weeds, pulling, BP01Jul21
Weight, perspective on, VP29Nov21
Whaling, spirit of, VP03Feb20
Whiners, whine to those who LET them, CC18Mar20
Whining:
addressing immediately, CC16Dec20
effects of, VP19Jul21
never reward, CC20Jan21
not responding to, CC20Jan21
responding to, CC26Feb20, BP18Jun20, VP22Jun20, CC12Aug20, VP29Mar21, VP28Jun21
stop completely, CC02Jun21
stopping, CC30Jun21, VP19Jul21
success in stopping, CC09Sep20, BP09Jun22
vs English, CC06Jan21
younger children, VP30Aug21, BP09Jun22
zero tolerance, CC28Jul21
Whispers, listening to, VP15Nov21
Whitewater, navigating, VP13Jul20
Who our children are, discovered with loving and teaching, CC04Mar20
Who we are:
can’t know until eliminate pain and fear, BP25Jun20
discovered with love, CC04Mar20
teaching children, CC27May20
“Why” questions, unproductive, BP24Oct19
Willingness, not just obedience, CC21Apr21
Winning:
dangers of, CC24Feb21
need to, CC30Sep20
Wise person, finding, VP05Apr21
Withdrawal, in child, responding to, CC15Jul20
Withdrawn child, questions to ask, BP03Mar22
Wolves, hunting buffalo, VP25Nov19
Women, objectifying, VP14Sep20
Wonder, of life, BP04Nov21
Words:
fewer, VP12Jul21
mean little, VP18Nov19
mean little vs behavior or action, CC13Jan21
more indicate defending, VP02Nov20
right, not enough, VP28Sep20
too many, VP12Jul21
Work
makes us happy and strong, VP27Jan20
parenting principles require, BP08Oct20
requiring, VP18Nov19
World, dangerous for children, BP27Feb20
World problems:
cause, VP18Oct21
solving, BP09Sep21
Worry:
about children, harmful, VP20Jan20
helps nothing, CC21Apr21
messages communicated by, VP20Jan20
no place for, CC21Apr21
Worth:
don’t prove, BP10Jun21
innate, BP10Jun21
produces good works, BP10Jun21
proving impossible, BP10Jun21
self, VP19Apr21
Worth it, effort to change, VP24May21
Worthless:
feelings of, B07Dec11
feelings of at root of all our complaints, B27Feb12, B23Jul12
feelings of based on lies, B27Feb12, B23Jul12
feelings of caused by childhood, B24Jul15
feelings of come from blind people, B23Jul12
feelings of come from childhood experiences, B18Jan12, B27Feb12, B23Jul12
origin of, B07Dec11
Writing:
teaching, examples, VP27Apr20
teaching with, CC09Oct19, BP31Oct19, VP27Apr20
Wrong:
admitting, VP21Sep20 , CC02Dec20
admitting difficult, BP08Apr21
admitting to child, CC05Aug20
denying has high price, BP08Apr21
learning how to be, VP21Sep20
teaching children how to admit, VP21Sep20
Y
"Yes," saying as often as possible so that "no" is listened to, CC11Dec19, CC26Feb20
Yes or no, don't justify, VP03Aug20
Young children:
accountable, CC25Nov20
affected by things they can’t remember, CC09Jun21
consequences, examples, CC11Mar20, CC25Mar20, CC24Feb21
importance of teaching, VP17May21
know right and wrong better than you think, CC25Nov20
loving and teaching, CC26Feb20
teaching, CC25Mar20, CC14Oct20
teaching, example, CC25Nov20
violence in, CC24Mar21
Younger children:
consequences, VP01Jun20
easier to love and teach, BP05Nov20
teaching, VP01Jun20, VP30Aug21
Yourself, be, BP31Dec20
Z
Zero Tolerance:
examples, BP12Mar20, CC22Jan20 VP20Apr20, CC22Apr20, CC17Jun20, CC11Nov20, VP20Sep21
for disrespect, BP12Mar20
how to implement, BP12Mar20
illustrated, CC11Dec19
importance of, CC18Dec19, CC11Nov20
need for, CC22Apr20
results, VP14Oct19
simple, CC11Nov20
with electronic devices, CC22Jan20
with phones, CC22Jan20