Find the Flow Through Rapids
In my younger, crazier days, I used to paddle a large open canoe down some fast and turbulent rivers, including Class III-IV rapids—the kind that regularly turn canoes over, dumping people into the water, where they can be seriously injured.
On one occasion I experimented with a new river and Class IV-V rapids that were generally considered navigable only by experienced people in closed kayaks—boats much safer than an open canoe. There were places on the river, for example, where my canoe shot over waterfalls six and seven feet high.
At one point the flow of the river was divided by a large concrete bridge support, and the strong current seemed to draw everything afloat right into that support. So many canoes and kayaks had been destroyed there that someone had finally painted a bull’s-eye on the concrete. Significant rapids are often given names—Buzz Saw and Tornado, for example—and of course this one was called Bull’s-eye.
I had heard about this spot, so when I approached I was cautious and pulled my canoe ashore about fifty yards upstream. On the shore was a man throwing small branches into the water in various locations.
When I asked what he was doing, he said he was watching the sticks approach the bridge support in order to learn the path—the safe “line”—a canoe would have to take in order to avoid danger. He said that on that particular day—with the water at that height and speed—he could see only one narrow line of approach that would allow anyone to safely traverse the rapids.
Perhaps sensing my anxiety, he offered to guide me from the shore as I paddled, and of course I was eager to accept his help. I carefully obeyed his every word and gesture, and I shot through the rapids with relative ease. I didn’t feel irritated at his telling me what to do.
I didn’t feel limited that there was only one way to safely negotiate the rapids. No, I was quite grateful for the meticulous guidance my new friend offered.
Find "The Flow" Through Life
There are a great many ways to live our lives, but most of them result in our boats wrapping around concrete pillars of various kinds, where we become stuck and miserable. We can’t live just any way we wish—treating people selfishly, for example—and expect to sail through the rapids.
Finding genuine happiness requires that we follow the principles governing that condition. And it’s likely that we’ll require the guidance of those who are familiar with the line that produces a safe and even exciting journey through life. We are wise to listen to such guides.
Teaching Our Children How to Find "The Flow"
This is a lesson we can teach our children. Often they resist our efforts to teach them new principles, but we must not back off. We must teach them that we’re sharing principles that will save their lives.
There is another lesson in this story. I learned that simply avoiding obstacles—like navigating away from certain rocks or whirlpools in the river—would be exhausting and frustrating. Similarly, telling children what NOT to do is endless, wearisome, and frustrating. It’s far more productive to help them find the “line” in life, where they can see and feel the natural flow of the “river.”
Just as I shot through Bull’s-eye with ease by finding the natural flow, so children can be taught to listen for the happy and fulfilling feelings that come from feeling loved and being loving and responsible.
When they’re happy and confident, you can point out what choices got them there, and thus they learn how to stay in the flow, rather than constantly being hyper-vigilant for all the possible mistakes in life. This is a much happier and easier way to live.
