Mom Untrained to Captain the Family "Ship"
People often ask me what it’s like to finally learn how to be a real parent. Today I will answer by quoting an email I received from Francesca.
“After watching the Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training, my entire life is different. I could not have imagined, in fact, how different it could be. Want to know why it's so good now?
“In my life before Real Love, I was at sea on a ship, my ship, where I was the captain, in charge of sailing and the safety of my family, who were also on the ship. Sometimes I was steering with the wind, other times floating without moving, or sometimes just paddling because the engine and sails were broken.
Or I was sinking and swimming. There were storms, with bad wind and rain, and at times they threatened to break our boat, or tip us over and throw us all into the ocean. Oh, and then there were sharks circling, and whatever other monsters the deep ocean hides.
“I was searching for a map, hoping for an island to rest and regroup. It was so much harder because I wasn’t the only one experiencing these storms and other dangers. I had a whole ship I was responsible for, that I had built and invited people to, and now the people on my ship were drowning and fighting, and so was I. We all had scurvy. It was awful to watch, I couldn't help them, and when I tried, I made things worse. It was truly awful."
I can’t tell you how often I receive communications like this, and it truly is awful for people who are lost and sinking.
Francesca continues: “Sometimes we’d see other ships, but they were having the same troubles. It was best to stay away from them, because they would only make things worse. Or they were pirates, who wanted to take from us what little we had.
Parents Need Support and Guidance to Captain the Family "Ship"
“Then one day, a different ship passed by. It was big and shiny and new, and it sailed beautifully. Everything about it was different. The members of the crew were bright and healthy and happy, and they obviously enjoyed working together to move their ship so smoothly through the waters.
"The captain was strong and good and knew where he was going, and he said to me, ‘Come with me, and I’ll show you how to run a ship. I’ll share my maps with you too.’
So I did. And now I know how to sail. And it’s fun, and everybody on the ship likes it so much better than the old ways. And that's why my life is so good now.”
A parent really is the captain of a ship, and when the captain knows what he or she is doing, a family is a pretty fantastic experience.
Summary
A parent is the captain of the ship, and when he or she is untrained and unprepared, the sea can be a frightening and dangerous place—for the captain and for the entire family.
Ship captains need support and guidance to learn their jobs.
When a ship captain feels supported, and is thoroughly trained, sailing can be fun and fulfilling for everyone on-board.
