Loving Parents LIVE Index

Action:

required in applying principles, 032, 033, 033

taking quickly, 032, 033

Accountability:

necessary in teaching children, 023, 025

Addiction:

response to emotional pain, 031

see Gaming, addiction to

see Porn, addiction to

ADHD:

doesn’t exist, 016

medication, side effects of, 016

over-diagnosis of, 016

PCSD the real diagnosis, 016, 032

Real Love the treatment for, 016

symptoms same as those for emotional pain, 016, 030, 032

treatment with medication usually wrong, 016

Adult children: responding to unacceptable behaviors in, 008

Agenda:

everyone has, 024

freeing effect on child of your not having one, 024

Anger:

benefits of, 016

choice, 026

compassion for with understanding, 033

decision to avoid, 013

love eliminates, 013

must be eliminated before loving children, 018

proof that we’re not feeling loved, 013

reaction to pain, 033

responding to, 004, 006, 011, 033

solution for, 011, 013

successes with responding to, 007, 009

teaching children about, 033

telling truth about, parents, 026

unfocused unacceptable, 011

venting doesn’t work, 011

why children use, 006

why we use, 016

Apologies:

mean little, why, 018

Arguing, see Fighting

Attention, children begging for, 030

Attitude, negative:

expression of feeds the attitude, 015

grows if we don’t pay attention, 015

Behaviors, “bad” or unproductive in children:

all modified by understanding loved, loving, responsible, 003, 032

all related to not feeling loved, loving, responsible, 003, 004

can’t just stop by command, 002, 003

cause more wounds in ourselves, 011, 015

caused by pain, 032

don’t make child bad, 023

goal not to stop only behaviors, 009

lovingandteaching solution to, 003, 004

not helpful simply to say stop, 003

not the real problem, 010, 032

repeated only because there is a reward for them, 022

require children to describe their own, 005, 010,

responding to consistently, 009, 022, 032

silence unacceptable, 009, 022solution to found in Loved-loving-responsible, 003, 022

stopping by lovingandteaching, 003, 004, 009, 022, 032

stopping not primary goal, 009

“Sudden” always preceded by signs we missed, 015, 032

talking about in family meetings, 022, 023

teach children how they lead to unhappiness, 003, 022

Biting nails, response to emotional pain, 016

Biting clothing:

            responding to, 015

            response to emotional pain, 015, 016

Cave, deep, keep going, 012

Change:

difficult in the beginning, 024

dramatic and fast possible with loving, 024

examples, 024

forcing doesn’t work, 024

Changing subject:

common, 027

examples, 027

responding to, 027

Children:

different in same household, 009

feel how we treat them, 005

happy, how they respond to situations, 014, 034

learn better when THEY express a principle they learned, 015

perceptive about how we treat them, 005

quiet, helping, 035

raised with Real Love from beginning, examples, 034

understand Real Love far better than we think, 005

Choice:

give children when possible, 022

increases with Real Love, examples, 028, 029, 032

none without Real Love, 028, 029, 032

Clean room:

how to teach, 005

Cognitive dissonance, motivation of, 002, 003

Competence, improved with Real Love, 027

Communication:

mistakes in, 034

teaching children how to, 031, 034, 035

Confidence:

earned, 031

how to develop in children, 015

learned through responsibility, 031

Connecting with people, what to say, 013

Consequences:

different for responsible children, 026

examples of, 005, 015, 018

increasing with resistance, 005

purpose of, 005, 015, 018

young age, 015

Consistency:

essential in observing small attitudes and behaviors in children, 015

in child, deserves different treatment, 026

Controlling, parents toward children:

anger used to, 016

avoiding, allows children to make wiser choices, 031

harmful to children, 016, 030

Coronavirus:

explaining to children 002

half measures useless, 006, 007

kills like small attitudes in children, 015

responding to slowly, severe consequences, 006, 015

spreading because of selfishness, 020

Curse of Knowledge, 007

Dam, leak in, metaphor of, 033

Demands:

examples of, 008

learned, 008

responding to, 008

Different, children are in same family, why, 008

Divorce:

not primarily cause of trauma for child, 030

Doing things, becomes substitute for knowing who we are, 003

Doubt, children feel for our initial changes, 025

Down Syndrome, 012

Drugs:

children exposed to in utero, 022

Electronics:

become a home schooling for life for our children, 003, 028

explosion like coronavirus, 006

Guidelines for, 003

half measures useless, 006, 028

parents give away their role to, 028

privacy none, 028, 032

restrictions for, 003, 028

teacher in are unknown, teaching unknown subjects to children, 003, 028

virus in our children’s lives, 028

Events:

alone don’t cause lasting pain if child feels loved, 011

provoke pain primarily on top of lifelong pre-existing pain, 011

Example, teaching by, 003

Familiar, hasn’t worked, so why repeat, 009

Family meetings:

examples, 008, 010

necessary, 011

responding to resistance toward, 011

resistance to, 010, 011

save discussions until, 010

successes, 010

talking about Getting and Protecting Behaviors in, 022

Fearless:

children naturally, 007

children lose, how, 007

Feelings:

choose only when feel loved, 032

helping children express, 035

Fighting:

eliminated with truth and love, 028

Finger, child giving to parent, 033

“Functional families,” see “Happy family”

Gaming, addiction:

responding to, 033

Getting and Protecting Behaviors:

defined, 022

talking about, 022

talking about in family meetings, 022, 023

Giving:

dangers of compared to lovingandteaching, 008

in to demands, 008

Glass, broken, 035

God, why people have a hard time with, 003

Gratitude:

teaching, examples, 026

Half-measures, useless, 006, 007, 008, 033

Happiness:

choice, teaching, 026

easier to find than all the behaviors to defend and protect, 005

three-legged stool of, 003

“Happy family”:

claims of proven false by children acting out, 031

claims of rarely true, 031

Heroes, parents, 001

Hitting, responding to, 001

Hope, of love, crushed, 011

“I love you”:

how child can respond to from adult, 029

from adult, inappropriate for child to respond with same, 029

Ignorance, test of, 017

Imitation Love:

children learn to trade early, 008

Immediate, response to behavior must be, 032

Interrupting, responding to, 004, 014

Keep doing:

children with unproductive behaviors only if not taught, 028

Keep going, 012, 025

Knowledge, Curse of, 007

Leak in dam, metaphor of, 033

Learning:

best if CHILDREN tell truth about themselves or principle, 015

difficult in the beginning, 024

impossible while in pain, 032, 033

pain makes impossible, 032, 033

Listening:

accountability for, 025

early, 020, 032, 033, 034

examples of, 009, 032, 034

making it happen between children, 025

most important part of loving, 019, 020, 032

not, admitting, 019, 034

not, consequences of, 033

not, examples of, 019, 032, 033, 034

to behavior, not just words, 020, 032, 032, 033

Loneliness, how to eliminate, 013

Love beam, 008

Love and teach:

always what we do, 009, 020, 023

effect of, 030

examples of, 003, 004, 020, 023, 030

in positive situations, 026

instead of focusing on what’s wrong, 004, 009, 023

Loved-loving-responsible:

always the real goal, not accomplishment of specific task, 001, 005

how to teach, 002, 003, 005

teaching these solves all other behaviors, 003

Loving Parents Live:

source of community, not just weekday video answers, 003

Lying:

test for, 017

Magic:

seduction of, 009

vs miracles, 009

Manipulation, children of adults:

examples, 017, 021

responding to, 017

Marbles, four, 003

Marijuana:

dangers of, 030, 031

responding to use in a child, 030, 031, 032

Media:

portrays parents badly, 010

watch with children and teach from, 010

Meaning, sense of:

decreases pain and fear of inconveniences, 003

needed for perspective, 003

Mistakes:

don’t make us bad, 004

old, don’t keep paying for, 017

repeating, 034

responding to, 035

Misunderstanding:

clearing up between parent and child, 034

clearing up between siblings, 034

Motivations, test of, 017

Nagging, how to avoid, 015, 022

Narcissism:

effect on children, 024

in partner, how to teach children, 012, 024

responding to, 012, 024

using to teach children truth, 012

“No,” saying only when it matters, 029

Non-parent, sometimes love has to come from for child, 032

One, parent doing Real Love in partnership, 018

Pain:

explains people’s “bad” behaviors, 011

experience and heal, don’t just vent, 011healed by talking about while being loved, 011

lifelong much more important than pain from single events, 011

Parenting:

bad more difficult than good, 022

diligence required, 010

effective easier than bad, 022

like putting together puzzle pieces, 009

solutions involve all the principles of Real Love together, 013

study required, 010

teaching in world does not include love, 014

Parenting training, see Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training:

Parents:

Accountable when children point out bad behaviors, 004

children see truth about as they learn more, 007

heroes, 001, 022

love discounted if seen as weak, 030

media portrays negatively, 010

only one doing Real Love in partnership, 018

our job as, 003

say, “I’ll do anything for children” but won’t, 030

truth telling to children, 004

world determined by, 001

Partners:

only one doing Real Love, 018, 033

only one doing Real Love enough, 033

Persistence, benefits of, 012, 013, 025

Pessimism, responding to, 027

Petrov, Stanislav, 001

Phone, see Electronics

Porn, addiction:

responding to, 033

Positive feedback:

examples of, 026

teaching with, 026

Praise:

alternative to, 023

connection preferable to, 023

dangers of, 007

examples of, 007

Pressuring:

examples from parents to children, 024

subtle sometimes, 024

Privacy:

children have no right to, 003, 032

guidelines for, 003

none with electronics, 032

Proactive love, power of, 033

Promises, mean little compared to observing past behavior, 021

Puzzle:

parenting like putting together, 009

Quarantine, effects of, 003

Reactions:

all we can do without Real Love, 029

reflexive without Real Love, 028

replaced by choices with Real Love, 028

Real Love:

children remembering, 035

eliminates Getting and Protecting Behaviors, 028,032

eliminates unloving behaviors, 028, 032

finding, 011, 013,

finding, examples, 014, 032

improves competence, 027

lack of the primary wound in children, 029

not “soft,” 008

power of, examples, 032

sometimes has to come from non-parent, 032

Repetition, see Keep doing

Responsibility:

allowing children to make choices in learning, 031, 031

child with deserves flexibility, 026

easier than all the fussing to avoid it, 005

teaches confidence, 031

teaching, examples, 017, 031

Revolution:

begins with willingness to see truth, 034

parenting, 034

Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training:

cost of, 018, 030

cost of not doing, 018, 030

how to get, 031

worth of, 018, 030

Risk, teaches children to choose

Rudeness, addressing between children, 031

Rules:

best if child participates in forming, if possible, 021

Sadness:

responding to, 009

turns into complaining, 009

School:

failing, why, 030, 033

pain makes success impossible in, 033

School of life:

examples, 024, 031

Self-worth:

helping children achieve, 035

Selfishness:

children see in parents with practice, 007

effects of, 020

examples, 007

test of, 017

Shackleton, Ernest, 022

Shame:

not appropriate when we didn’t know better, 029, 035

responding to, 035

of pain: pay attention to early, 034, 035

Silence:

implies consent of other person’s behavior

Small things:

become much more serious, 015, 017

must address, or they grow like virus, 015

Sobriety:

definition of real, 033

not about abstinence, 033

Social behavior, follows learning loved-loving-responsible, 001

Social distancing:

            see Loneliness

Solitude:

see Loneliness

Speaker, defined, 027

Store owner and wrong change, story of, 017

Stress:

responding to in children, 004

Stupidity, repeating, 034

Suggestions, from Greg not attempt to control, 014

Successes:

examples, 024, 032, 032, 034

Tantrums:

See Anger

See Demands

See Violence

Teaching:

best if CHILDREN tell truth about themselves or principle, 015, 022

Curse of Knowledge and, 007

possible only after loving, 020

Teasing:

addressing between children, 031

example of teaching about, 002, 020, 031

stop, 020

teaching about, 020

Techniques, don’t work without love, 014, 030

Therapy, effects of, 030

Tics, nervous, cause of, 015

Training:

tends to determine how we feel and behave, 029

Trauma:

greatest from simple lack of love in child, 029, 030

to children, different kinds, 030

visible rarely cause of children’s wounds, 029, 030

Tree, rot, identifying like seeing signs in children, 035

Truth:

inconvenient, 009, 019

scares us, 009

worthless without commitment to application, 019

Truth telling:

child to parent, best if CHILDREN tell truth about themselves or principle, 015, 022, 023

child to parent, must include truth about behavior and solution, 017

child to parent, possible only after loving, 020

essential for growth, 025

helping children to, 035

to child, about partner, 007

to child, about your own mistakes in loving, 012

to others, what to say, 013

Understanding:

examples of, 034

power of, 034

Venting, feelings, not effective, 012

Victimhood:

common, 017

grows, 017

sneaky, 017

Victims:

defend and attack always, 017

gather allies, 017

never wrong, 017

seek out other victims, 011

Violence:

responding to, 001, 004, 006

successes with responding to, 008

why, 006

Wall Street collapse, compared to parents ignoring signs, 034

Whiners, seek out other whiners, 011

Whining:

responding to, 017

success, example, 017

Who we are:

can’t know until feel loved, 032

children need to embrace, 035

knowing harder when distracted by doing things, 003

not our mistakes, 035

what is left when pain and fear gone, 032

Work before play, 004

World, condition determined by parents, 001

Worth of child, enough for parent to genuinely change?, 016

Worthless, how that happens in child, 030

Wrong:

easy to focus on, 004

focus on path instead of, 004

“Yes,” saying as often as possible, 029

Zero tolerance:

accountability in, 025

consistency with, 002, 025

creates atmosphere where learning to be happy is possible, 003

examples of teaching, 002, 005, 010, 025

for behaviors without discussing them, 002

for five behaviors or attitudes, 002, 005

not same as happiness, 003

reason for, 011

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