Years ago I wrote a blog, Natural Power, where I stated that we really do things backward. Without sufficient Real Love from childhood, we do not have the profound confidence in our worth that produces a sense of peace and joy. That pain is intolerable, so—mostly unconsciously—we tend to labor long and hard to PROVE our worth by the things we DO.
We are Already Worthwhile
That approach never works. Ever. Why? In part because we’re trying to prove something that’s already true. We’re already worthwhile. We simply never had that confirmed to us by the people around us. So, instead of constantly proving our worth by what we do, it’s far easier and more productive if we simply accept our divinely-given worth from the beginning. Then everything changes. There’s no pressure to prove ourselves.
Now, instead of doing things to prove your worth, you can just allow your performance (the doing) to proceed forth naturally FROM who you already ARE. You can express your worth instead of proving it. If we could remember this principle alone, we’d quit worrying about everything.
A Real Life Example of Expressing Instead of Proving
Recently I talked to a woman who persisted in her understanding of Real Love—and in doing what it took to FEEL it—and she said this:
“You kept telling me that I just needed to feel more loved, so I kept going and going. Sometimes I wanted to quit, but I focused on love instead of trying to please everybody else. And something began to change.
"As I felt loved, I actually FELT the healing of old wounds. I realized that I was a pretty good person. I felt confident. I didn’t feel small. And then everything began to change.
"I have avoided challenges at work all my adult life, but now I welcome them, and the people at work love having me there. I’m training for a big endurance race that I’ve promised to do for years but never done.
"I’m doing creative stuff that I’ve always wanted to do. And it’s crazy that doing all this is NOT hard. I don’t have to work at it. I just EXPRESS myself, and all this cool stuff just flows from me. I can hardly believe it.”
Teach Your Children Their Worth
We’re all worthwhile just because we BREATHE. We’re worthwhile because we are God’s children. We’re born deserving of love—who thinks a baby has to prove himself or herself, eh?—and that NEVER CHANGES.
We never lose that inherent worth. We just get lost in pain and in defending ourselves from it. We get very lost. We forget our worth.
Now we just need to find the Real Love that heals the wounds that separate us from those initial feelings we began with—feelings of faith, vulnerability, and worth.
Feel love, feel your worth. Love your children, clearly communicate to them that their successes do not make them worthwhile. They don’t EVER need to prove themselves.
Never destroy their sense of worth with your disappointment, disapproval, or anger. And teach them how FUN it is to accomplish things and succeed. And they’ll learn to allow their accomplishments to naturally flow from their worth and confidence, instead of frantically and fruitlessly working to prove their worth all their lives.
