We all want a quick fix when something is wrong or we are unhappy, but unfortunately, there is none. Instead of stopping there, listen to what one woman did to find genuine change and happiness.
Timestamps:
00:00 A woman's life is chaos, tension and unhappiness and wants a quick fix but does the hard work instead.
01:48 Metaphor of ship stuck in the Suez Canal likened to our lives.
03:07 It takes a lot of new experiences to change the judgments and reactions of a lifetime.
Transcript:
We All Want a Quick Fix, Not Genuine Change
Carol called me and vigorously complained that:
- She hated her job
- Her husband did nothing but work and hated his job
- Her husband never spent time with her
- She couldn’t sleep, and her health wasn’t good
- Her husband was sleep-deprived and stressed all the time
- Her children complained all day, they were demanding, they were never grateful
- The entire home was a place of chaos and tension
- She was unhappy (Surprise!)
Like most people, she wanted a few clever words that would solve the interconnected mess of four lives all run off the rails. Impossible.
So I explained that many things would have to be learned and done, but if she genuinely did what was recommended, the process need not be agonizing or lengthy. Most people stop right there.
Example of Genuine Change
We all want a quick fix. Who wouldn’t? But Carol simply began the work. She read what was prescribed, watched the Parenting Training, talked to wise men and women to find the FEELING of being loved, and invited her husband to participate—which he did.
Changing a lifetime of pain, judgments, feelings, habits, addictions, protecting behaviors, and more is no small thing. But what is the alternative?
This year a single container ship ran into the side of the Suez Canal so that the front was stuck in one bank and the rear touching the other bank. This stopped the passage of EVERYTHING, which meant that 10% of the world’s shipping stopped. They pulled out every excavator, dredger, engineer, tugboat, and more they could find, and it took six days and untold millions of dollars to get that ship free. But it HAD to be done.
People are FAR less aware and responsible. We let one ship get stuck in the flow of our lives, then another, then another, until there IS no canal. Blocked completely, and then we’re not willing to take the first step to implement a solution. Carol was.
She found the love she needed, over and over and over, because it takes a lot of NEW experiences to change the judgments and reactions of a lifetime. Her husband did the same. They addressed the problems of their children, loving and teaching them consistently.
Recently I talked to her. She was sleeping all through the night. So was her husband. Her children were much happier, with one adult child moved out. She was enjoying her job. Her husband was getting there (about the job). She BEAMED.
I went through all the steps she had taken to get from the past to the present. There were a LOT, but they were NOT more difficult than continuing to endure the misery they all called “living” before. She smiled and said, “It was SO worth it.”
The Joy of Genuine Change
No kidding. From misery to happiness, and all because she simply did what it took. Instead of complaining, she acted. Oh sure, sometimes she fell on her face and just made things worse. Who doesn’t?
But she kept going, and her family is now unrecognizable. She said, “I surrendered. My way hadn’t worked all those years, so I decided to jump in completely with the new way. And it worked.”
The vast majority of people don’t fail in their efforts to change. No, they simply don’t believe that genuine change is possible in the first place, so they don’t really try.
Reading a book alone isn’t trying. Being angry at people for not being different is not trying. Whining is not trying.
The only thing that counts as trying is completely surrendering to what WORKS, and Carol did that. So can you.
