Learn the difference between faith and stupidity in your parenting.
Timestamps:
00:00 Aphorism about courage.
01:27 Faith in parenting and when it is stupid.
05:44 What parents CAN have faith in.
Transcript:
Faith in What?
Recently someone sent me one of the ubiquitous and cute aphorisms found on the Internet. It said:
Courage is knowing it might hurt but doing it anyway.
So is stupidity.
And that is why life is hard
That’s hysterical because it’s so true and so unexpected. I would modify it just a little:
Courage is knowing it might hurt but doing it anyway.
So is stupidity
So is faith.
And that is why life is hard
Let’s look at all three.
It CAN be courageous to take action in the face of danger.
It CAN be faithful to take action in the face of uncertainty and pain.
But it CAN be very stupid to take action in the face of danger.
Let’s address faith for a second, because it could look very much like stupidity, but not if you choose wisely what you have faith IN. THAT is the subject of our discussion—choosing what we have faith IN.
Stupidity is just going ahead and doing WHATEVER occurs to you—or whatever you WANT—even though it might be hurtful. Driving too fast around a curve and hoping you won’t die is stupid, not courageous or faithful.
But faith is to have an assurance in what is TRUE without complete evidence that it won’t hurt you—in fact, WHILE you have some evidence that it MIGHT hurt you or not work out well.
Putting Our Faith in the Wrong Thing
One of the most common errors I see in people trusting or having faith—other than having no faith at all—is that we put our faith in the wrong thing.
For example:
We parents tend to prepare our children poorly for life, we don’t love them unconditionally, and then we just trust that somehow life will work out for them.
Or at a young age we give THEM a choice about something they’re not ready for—like screen time—and we hope they’ll choose wisely. They won’t. That’s like sending random civilians without training, armor, or weapons into battle, and having faith that they’ll be all right. They won’t.
So let’s turn this into a principle. We are not God. We do not rule the universe. We are not omniscient. For all those reasons we have no right to have faith that we will get a particular outcome.
Regrettably, we tend to do exactly that. We believe that “If we have faith, we’ll get what we want.” No, or cocaine addicts would simply have faith that they’ll get their next fix.
Choosing What You Have Faith In
Hence the need for choosing WHAT you have faith in, what you’re courageous about.
We can have faith in the power of LOVE and TRUTH and RIGHT, NOT in a particular outcome.
If we have faith in an outcome we want, we’re controlling and entitled. We need to understand this, and we need to be able to teach it to our children.
So, let’s be practical with an example:
You might say, “I have faith that my child will change/or be happier/or make good decisions or whatever.”
NO, you don’t have the right to control that.
So what can you have faith in?
You can have faith that loving is the most effective way to reach a child.
Faith that you CAN learn to be loving IF you do what it takes to feel loved yourself and to share it with your children.
The more we understand faith, the more effective it becomes.
