Teens Tend to Resist Finding a Job
Michelle called to tell me that her daughter Mandy had finished her junior year of high school, and she was having a hard time finding a job for the summer. It has been my experience that when people say they’re having a hard time finding work:
- they don’t really want to work; OR
- they’re looking for a high-paying job with no qualification and few hours.
Needless to say, such people don’t find work.
I asked Michelle how many jobs Mandy had applied for, and she said, “Three.”
I had to stop myself from bursting into laughter. “Really? She’s applied to three whole jobs? Wherever did she find the time?” I was lightly mocking the daughter for her lack of effort, and also the mother for being unaware of what’s involved in applying for a job.
“I don’t understand,” Michelle said.
“Three job applications is almost the same as zero. Almost always it takes a lot of applications to get a job.”
“But her friend said that three applications was plenty, and she knows a girl who got a job after her first interview.”
“Your daughter sold you a convenient lie, my dear,” I said. “Kids just do not know how life works. That’s why we have to love them and teach them.’
“She refuses to apply for more than three jobs,” Michelle said. “She says all her friends agree with her, and I can’t make her.”
Consequences Help Motivate a Teen to Find a Job
“Actually, you really can persuade her to keep applying. Unless she’s applying for a minimum of ten jobs a day, you don’t let her drive, you keep her phone, and you don’t let her have any access to electronics. GETTING a job IS a full-time job. If people don’t understand that, they tend not to find work.”
“She’ll hate that,” Michelle said. “And ten applications a day seems like a lot.”
“That’s exactly the point,” I said. “When she hates the consequences of doing not enough, she’ll apply for the ten jobs a day, which is nothing using the Internet.”
Michelle actually followed my directions, and, sure enough, Mandy hated losing her phone, her freedom, and her transportation enough to apply for ten jobs per day. After forty-five applications, Mandy got a job. Michelle was thrilled. “How did you know this would happen?” she asked.
“I’ve been doing this for a while,” I said. “I’m old. Kids just don’t know how life works, and we’re the ones who need to teach them.”
Loving and teaching is our job. Sometimes our children don’t like it, but they don’t know enough to manage their lives without our guidance. Forty-five job applications, not three.
Summary
Children tend to resist finding jobs, because playing around is easier than working.
Children need firm guidance around the diligence required to find a job.
Consequences are often needed to motivate a child to do the hard work in life.
What You Can Do Now
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