This story was posted online sometime in 2019. I have edited it for clarity and for length.
Starting an Addiction
“My older brothers introduced me to video games when I was three years old, and quickly they became my favorite thing to do. I played until my thumbs were sore. I played for thousands of hours every YEAR. It was more than a full-time job.
“I didn’t care about school. Why would I when I could hang out with friends instead, where we could go on raids, kill aliens, or whatever? The intense, immediate pleasure associated with victory over my enemies in a video game became my life. Gradually, I had no friends other than online. I quit eating meals with my family. Gaming was my god.
“Unbelievably, I was accepted to a college, and of course I skipped classes to game. I failed every test—didn’t even take most of them—and dropped out after the first semester. I got a job just so I could upgrade my gaming rig and then quit working.
“Finally, after all that wasted life, I realized I had NOTHING. I tried to ignore my discovery, but it smacked me in the face every day as I realized I had only one thing—games—and they were ruining my life. I wanted more from life, but I could not control my impulse to game.
“Something had to happen, so I decided to stop. At first I tried to just game for 10 hours instead of 16 on my days off. I tried all kinds of ways to limit my gaming, but NOTHING worked. Nothing in life compared to the excitement of the world I created on a screen.
“And then I read something that sank into my soul. Some philosopher said that we’re not here just to avoid tension but to struggle for a meaningful life. I realized that I couldn’t just play around anymore. I had to jump into the deep end.
Stopping the Addiction
“I started by selling my entire computer system. And then I cried because I’d given up the best friend I’d ever had. But I trusted that I’d find something better. Now, several years later, I get up at 5:30 each morning to meditate before work. I eat right, read books, and play the guitar. I went back to college and really studied.
“Now I’m working on my PhD. I wake up every day excited for my life and ready to start the day. I exercise regularly because I enjoy it. I read because I enjoy it. I spend time with my loved ones, and I enjoy it!
It took a while—I had to be completely sober for years—before I noticed that a real life is better than the excitement of gaming. For a long time I just endured the absence of gaming, but now my life is too full and rewarding to even think of the old days.
“Giving up gaming isn’t the answer. It’s the beginning of the journey—the beginning of a real life. The pain of withdrawal from my addiction nearly killed me in the beginning, but it was so worth it."
This story is about gaming addiction, but the same story could be told about addiction to anything: phones, anger, victimhood, complaining, whatever.
This man began his addiction at age three. Nobody even noticed. If his parents had been paying attention, he could have avoided incalculable pain and lost time. And this story turned out well, whereas most addiction stories do not.
Giving up an addiction is brutally difficult. It’s far, far easier to stop it before it begins, which is our responsibility—our opportunity—as parents.
Every addict begins with behaviors that appear innocent. They’re NOT able to understand—regardless of their age—where those “small” behaviors end up, so we as parents MUST see for our children.
We can learn to understand the end result of anger, lying, whining, gaming, phone use, withdrawal, and more. We can do our job and stop the addictions before they begin. We must.
