Children often react defensively to being loved and taught, especially if you are imperfect as you work with them. You can learn how to prepare for those difficult times.
The Rowboat Story
Many versions of the following story have been told over the years:
A man lived in a place inundated by heavy and prolonged rain. He could see that the nearby river was rising, so he prayed to God for help. Minutes later the announcer on the radio told everyone close to the river to get in their vehicles immediately and move to higher ground
The man thought, “It’s all right. I’m praying to God, and he’ll save me.”
The water continued to rise, reaching the foundation of his house. Again he prayed for help, and soon a man in a rowboat came by to offer a ride. “It’s all right,” said the man in the house. “I’m praying to God, and he’ll save me.”
The water rose into the man’s house, forcing him out onto the roof, where again he prayed for help. A helicopter flew near, and the pilot shouted that he would lower a rope, but the man said that God would save him.
The water rose further, and the man drowned. He went to Heaven, where God said, “What are you doing here?”
The man replied, “I prayed to you, and I had faith, but you didn't save me. You let me drown. I don't understand.”
Calmly God said, “I sent you a radio announcement and a rowboat and a helicopter. What more did you want?"
Times of Doubt
You are the answer to your children’s needs and prayers. As you learn to love and teach them more effectively, sometimes the change will be rocky. That’s unavoidable. You’ll all be in unfamiliar territory, and as you learn, on occasion you will make mistakes.
Whether you make mistakes or not, at times your children will resist. You might be tempted to doubt yourself, thinking that if only you were a better person they would be more cooperative.
Doubt wastes the time and emotional energy of you and your children. And doubt is one of the synonyms of fear. If you’re afraid, your ability to love will be damaged, and your children will feel it. You will be handicapped in your ability to love and teach them.
What Can You Do?
Follow the principles you’ve learned. Ensure that you are filled with all the love you can find. Then share that love with your children while you are teaching them how to feel loved, and to be loving and responsible.
If they question your methods, always be willing to examine them and to improve, but not with doubt or a question of your worth.
Whether you make mistakes or not, your children are in the middle of the ocean, and they need your help so that the wind and waves don’t overwhelm and drown them. The world is a complicated and often dangerous place.
You Are the Rowboat
You don’t have to be perfect. You can’t be, but you CAN provide a rowboat that will carry them to a destination where they can begin their own journey. During their young lives, you can give them the safety they need.
Your rowboat might even have some leaks in it, but you learn to repair them. You learn to bail water out of the bottom, or you install a bilge pump to keep the boat dry and afloat.
No matter what your flaws, you ARE still the rowboat. You have the responsibility and ability to save your children’s lives—leaks and all. Help them out of the water, with a combination of compassion, consistency, and firmness that you’ll learn with practice and conscious intent.
They might fight you. They might refuse to get in the boat with you. They might jump out. Don’t give up. You’re still the rowboat. Stay there. Persist. Stand by and hold out your hand. You’re the best they have.
Summary
The world is a potentially dangerous place for our children, so they need our help.
We are the rowboat that will enable them to get out of the water and storms that could overwhelm them.
We will make mistakes as we love and teach, but we’re still the rowboat, and we’ll adjust for leaks with repairs, pumps, and whatever else it takes.
