Trusting Principles, Not Techniques
In the blog from last week—The Power of Trusting—I spoke about how a physically small woman was able to lift me easily off a couch with the application of faith and physics, instead of trying harder with physical effort. Now let me tell the rest of the story.
The day after the event described above, again I began to get myself off the couch, and again the woman came to my aid. Just for fun, I suggested an experiment where she would change the technique she had used the day before. I modified her direction in falling back and how she might straighten her knees and waist as she fell.
She did as I suggested, and nothing happened. I did not rise from the couch. She tried again, same result. But then I suggested that she go back to using the technique she had chosen from the day before. She did, and immediately she lifted me from the couch.
I learned something. The day before I had taught her only the principles of faith and physics, and she didn’t consider technique at all as she easily succeeded in lifting me up. But she failed when she used my technique that—in retrospect—was better suited to someone taller and heavier.
Parenting Principles, Not Techniques are the Most Important
What is the lesson here? Proven principles are uniformly effective, but we can experiment—with varying results—with the techniques we use to apply those principles. Throughout the Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training—and in the support materials created every week—I use examples of how you might apply proven parenting principles to specific situations.
It is NOT most important what exact words or behaviors you use to apply these principles. It’s the principles that matter most, and you and your child may discover your own variations that work better than the specifics I recommend for illustrating how principles eliminate obstacles to our happiness.
Parenting is about practicing true principles and learning what helps your children best to feel loved, and to be loving and responsible. Don’t be afraid to be flexible with the specifics as you consistently apply the principles.
If a specific technique fails, you might try it again, or you might try another approach until the principle prevails.
