Your Child Is A Porn Addict—How You Can Help
Learn what you can do to ELIMINATE—not just manage—their porn addiction. Really.
Step 1: Watch this video.
Step 2: Click the button below to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.
Do You Have a Child Who Uses Porn?
The Effects of Technology
In recent decades technology has advanced so quickly that socially we have struggled to adjust, and porn addiction is just one result of our being surprised and unprepared.
What Is Addiction?
All electronic devices have some potentially positive uses—sometimes lifesaving uses—so I am not suggesting that electronic technology itself is a problem. No, the problems arise when we human beings abuse the use of these devices, as we have learned to abuse so many other good things in the world: food, exercise, education, books, travel, politics, and more.
It should be obvious, then, that we need to be aware of when we change our use of an electronic device from an asset to an addiction. It might help first to clearly define what an addiction is. It’s not about the number of hours we do a thing, or how often. It’s about how that behavior affects our lives.
Addiction is the compulsive use of any substance, person, feeling, or behavior with little or no concern for the potentially negative social, psychological, job, and physical consequences. Perhaps an even shorter definition might help: Addiction is using anything that affects us negatively, and which we can’t easily quit.
So, Do You Have an Addicted Child?
Do you have a child who’s addicted to pornography? It's highly likely. The average age of boys beginning their addiction to porn is now eleven years. 30% of traffic on the Internet is porn. It’s everywhere, so don’t be surprised if you find out that your child is using.
Scientific studies have proven that porn changes the function and structure of the brain, and it interferes with relationships in the real world. It’s also classified as a major health crisis by more and more national and international health organizations.
Look for the Signs
Do you feel helpless and uninformed about what to do next? Start by looking for the signs of porn addiction in children and teens. What are those signs?
Detached, isolated
Has your child become more detached, isolated, angry, difficult to talk to? These are powerful signs of addiction, and porn is one of the most common addictions.
Screen hunger
Does your child seem to look at screens like a starving man would look at food?
Changing screens
Is your child quick to change screens if you enter the room?
Public use of screens
Do you require that they use all screen devices in a public area? (Bathrooms are not public)
Night-time activities
Do you ever get up in the middle of the night to see exactly what he’s doing by himself? If you don’t check, you don’t know what’s happening.
Money goes missing
Does money go missing from time to time? Even though free porn is everywhere, porn use often escalates to activities that require payment.
Personality changes
Has there been a change in their personality? Are they more difficult to interact with?
Annoyed or enraged
If you require that they put their phone or other devices away to do something else for you, are they annoyed? Possibly enraged?
"Attitude"
Do you get “attitude” from them when you tell them not to use their devices other than in a community area?
No outside interests
Do they have no significant activities in the real world outside school and home—like sports, activities outdoors?
Quit caring
When you call them for dinner, is it like they’re deaf or dead?
Internet browsing history
Have you checked your child’s Internet browsing history? Porn users know how to erase it, so you have to learn how to examine their deleted history. Ask an IT friend.
Parental awareness
Do you really know what they’re doing when they’re away from you and alone?
Sneaking time
If their device use is restricted, do they sneak extra time?
Isolate themselves
Do they often use their electronic devices in a place where they can be alone?
ASK
Have you directly asked your child whether he uses porn? Look him straight in the eye, and you’ll almost always get the real answer in the first single second after you ask.
"Deaf"
Do you often have to repeat yourself to him or her, because the first time you spoke, they were completely lost somewhere else, in thought or on a device?
Neglecting responsibilities
Are they neglecting their chores, homework, and other members of the family?
Irritable
If their electronic device use is interrupted by other activities, or by lack of Internet reception, do they become irritable? Like someone withdrawing from a substance?
Sneaking away
Do they ever sneak away to be alone while you’re having a family activity, including meals?
Procrastinate
Do they consistently put off homework and bedtime and other duties for reasons they can’t quite describe?
The Special Qualities and Dangers of Porn Addiction
These are not small questions to consider. Porn addiction is becoming epidemic. Kids are missing school, isolating from everyone, and turning into adults incapable of having healthy relationships with anyone.
Studies have been proven that porn addiction affects brain chemistry, nerve connections, and even brain structure in almost the same ways that are caused by addiction to drugs. Porn use affects your child’s emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and academic health.
Porn addiction is especially dangerous because:
- It’s everywhere.
- It’s an almost unbelievably abundant source of sight, sound, and physical pleasure in one place.
- Porn includes other addictions understood by almost no one, even the experts on porn addiction.
- The first hidden addiction is the escape from emotional pain. These kids are in extreme emotional pain, and porn gives them an escape that is irresistible—addictive. They escape to a virtual world inhabited by no other real people, and that is emotionally deadly to a child.
- The second hidden addiction is to power. Most children don’t feel sufficiently filled emotionally. (More about that shortly) And they feel helpless to fill their needs. Porn allows children to gain CONTROL over other “people,” the people on their screens. As they click from one view to another, these people on screen become actors in the child’s play, and it’s a dangerously lonely and deceptive play.
- As children increasingly live in their virtual world, they become incapable of functioning in the real one. They become withdrawn, isolated, angry, and more.
We have to pay close attention to this disorder that has snuck up on us with alarming speed, an addiction that is also spreading like an unchecked virus.
Are you not concerned that your child is being kidnapped by a screen?
Are you not willing to do anything to free your child from a virtual world that is a poisonous prison?
Do you want to help your child avoid effects that could negatively impact them for the rest of their lives?
I wish I were exaggerating about all this.
There IS a Solution—
How to Help a Child Addicted to Porn
I'm here to tell you that there IS a solution, and we’re not talking about controlling or minimizing the addiction. That's not nearly enough.
We’re talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being again.
In most cases, what you get is a child much happier than they were before the drug use.
Welcome to the answers you've been hoping for.
For a long time now, you’ve been looking for ways to help your child. I greatly admire what you’re doing right now. You’re looking for answers, you’re trying to love and help your child, which is way more than most parents do.
And finally, you’re in the right place.
Desperately Looking for Help for Your Drug-Using Child
It’s like you’ve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and now—almost unbelievably—it’s here. This is the ship you’ve been looking for.
How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children who are stuck in the addiction of porn. What I teach has been used by uncounted THOUSANDS of parents, and it works CONSISTENTLY.
I’m not trying to sell you something here that we’re GOING to do. You don’t have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, I’ll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that you’ve never known.
I repeat: I’m not here to tell you ABOUT what I’m offering you. I’m beginning now to GIVE you what you need. It’s my gift to you.
What a relief to know that right now you’re exactly where you’ve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child.
And I’m going to help you do that.
Your Child is a Porn Addict
and You Want to Do Something About It
I know you’ve tried to change things: certainly nagging, long talks or lectures, maybe programs, yelling, controlling, maybe counseling. But your child still uses porn compulsively and masturbates.
And you’re frustrated and tired.
You’ve been looking for something that works, and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.
You would not be here unless two things were true:
If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what I’m going to share with you, predictably I see children stop using porn.
It’s not a casual effort, but it’s possible, and instead of being addicted, they become happy—even after everything else has failed.
You become happy too.
It is NOT hopeless
I’m here to help you, and I’ll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the world—and much more.
You are about to change the world around you, and you don’t have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. You’ve already proven that with your own experience.
What You Will Learn That You Don’t Already Know
So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to teach you about helping your child and porn addiction that you don’t already know?
What am I going to say that you haven’t already read or heard somewhere?
This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing it—over and over.
To see the answer, let’s start with an infant. When an infant cries—other than from obvious physical pain—what does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. You’re pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED.
Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if you’re genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.
But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. They’re adorable.
But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . .
And escape into the virtual world of porn addiction. They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really don’t know what to do. Usually we try to control their behavior—and we might even temporarily succeed—but it doesn’t last, and we end up with kids who are still drinking and unhappy.
We’re not so happy either.
Loving Your Children Unconditionally
Let me say this another way:
If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we don’t know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.
If we love them unconditionally, we’d love them no matter what.
But if loving them becomes more difficult when they’re difficult when they behave badly, our love is conditional.
Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the “love” we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, which does not include the symptoms of ADHD.
The Real Effect of Anger and Disappointment
Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. That’s what unconditional love means.
But we really don’t know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.
Deep inside, you know that what I’m saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you don’t. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when we’re angry at other people, we’re all saying, “Look at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.”
In anger, we’re focused on OURSELVES—Me-Me-Me—and in that moment other people—notably our children—hear only four words, “I don’t love you.” When we’re angry, we’re far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.
I repeat:
When we are angry at another person, including our child, they hear only, "I don't love you."
I promise you that this is true.
No, we don’t MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? “I don’t love you” is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at you—think about it honestly—and it’s what our children hear and feel when we’re angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.
It’s little wonder that they respond with their own anger.
Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.
But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionally—which means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditions—so how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.
Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We don’t know how to love unconditionally because we’ve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.
Childhood and Teenage Porn Addiction is
a Reaction to Not Being Loved Unconditionally
For emphasis, I’m going to say all this in a slightly different way:
When children behave badly—when they become addicted to porn, for example—it is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionally—loved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger.
Your child uses porn to ESCAPE the pain of the world. Full stop.
What are you willing to do about that?
This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the world—at the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, anger, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.
THERE is the proof—in our addiction to all those behaviors—that overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.
Children and Teenagers Who are Loved Unconditionally Don't Become Addicted to Porn
I’ve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty: When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT become addicted to porn.
Instead they’re HAPPY—and responsible, and have all those qualities you wish they had.
With sufficient love, there is simply no NEED for our children to numb their pain with the temporary and superficial relief of porn addiction.
Happy people don’t behave badly—like using porn to substitute for real life, for example. Period. Full stop. It seems almost like this statement is too broad, too much. It’s not.
Why You're Not succeeding in Helping Your Children with their Porn Addiction
How many times have you wondered why a child isn’t hearing what you’re saying? There’s an answer, and here it is: Because when you’re irritated, your child hears only “I don’t love you,” and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.
So THAT is what I'll be teaching you:
How to LOVE your children unconditionally,
which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.
If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you —what you’re really saying—because they’re not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the “I don’t love you” message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anything—like how to be loving and responsible themselves.
And if they have that powerful trifecta—they feel loved, and they are loving and responsible—they are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.
Your Children Can Learn to Be Happy Without Porn
Your children can learn that being happy is way better than any escape to a virtual world, like they get with porn addiction.
Take my hand, and we’ll talk about what you can do—and how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. You’re going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.
If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences you’ll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.
Imagine it:
no more addiction to a behavior known to be harmful, even emotionally deadly,
no more hiding or excuses,
no more tension in the family,
It’s astonishing to see and to feel.
Our children are not bad. We’re not bad.
We just have not known how to love and teach them.
Loving and Teaching Eliminates
Porn Addiction in Children and Teenagers
What we’re doing to help our kids with their pain and porn addiction IS NOT WORKING.
Loving and teaching them does.
Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors you’re dealing with, not if you’re really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.
You’re about to learn how to ELIMINATE the behaviors in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.
I make you another promise:
Learning to be a loving, effective parent is EASIER than everything else you’ve done as a parent.
Transforming, Not Managing Your Children
We’re really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. We’re not looking to make your children more manageable. That’s not even close to being enough.
Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. It’s a transformation.
If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, I’M fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacular—as we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.
There is not a single thing you’ll ever do that will ring through the ages more powerfully than being a loving and effective parent.
You can do this, so let's get started.
Click the button below—it’s free—to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.
