I know a mother who had been having increasing difficulties with her 14 y.o. daughter, who was becoming resistant to instruction, defiant, disrespectful, and withdrawn. The mother learned the principles of Real Love, and applied them diligently to her interactions with her daughter.
The daughter wrote:
“Over the past few months my mother has been doing this Parenting Training, and she started a new family rule: ‘If you want to be happy, you have to feel loved, be loving, and be responsible.’ I wasn’t sure about this at first, but this has turned out to be a great rule, and it seems like every family should have it. It does take a lot of dedication and hard work to make it happen. Each of us kids has had to really change our attitude and behavior.
“Mom is firm but not mean. Today I made some ridiculous excuse for not doing something I was supposed to, and she just burst into laughter. Then I started laughing too, because my excuse really was pretty stupid. With these new rules, we feel closer to each other. And there’s almost no more anger, or whining, or teasing, like there used to be.
“Sometimes I think Mom is being strict, but the truth is that she’s giving us a shot at happiness, and I’m grateful to her for doing so much work to help us.”
Changing the patterns of a lifetime is no small thing, but oh, achieving that change is so worth it. This young lady’s mother had the courage and faith to learn and grow, and she loved her daughter enough to persist in loving and teaching regardless of the resistance and defiance.
Mom is a great example to all parents of what is possible if we are consistent in our efforts.
Summary
It is common for children to be defiant, angry, and withdrawn.
This is an example of how to approach such a child.
One such child expresses her appreciation for the work her mother diligently did.
