Our lives are much more than preparation for floods. We’re here to be happy. To have fun, and we can do that while we’re building and preparing.
Timestamps:
00:00 Living in a flood plain as an example of all the steps it takes to be prepared before a flood.
07:52 We need to prepare ourselves and our children NOW for the crises that will come in their lives.
08:28 Results of not addressing negative behaviors when children are young.
11:25 How parents prepare.
12:29 The importance of preparing now.
Transcript:
Preparing for a Flood
I live in a hundred-year flood plain, which means that on average there is a flood about every hundred years that would affect any part of my home. This condition exists only because behind the house there is a creek, which collects all the rain that falls on an area about six square miles upstream from us. Because the creek is relatively small, and the slope gradual, a heavy rain over a few days can completely fill the river, overflow the banks, and creep through my backyard and into my basement.
This has already happened once while I’ve been here, and I rushed around like a crazy person, trying to put sandbags all around the house in the back, where there is a walkout basement. That effort was beyond exhausting, and we still had some leakage of water into the basement. We were not prepared—not nearly prepared—with enough bags, drainage holes next to the foundation, or sump pumps.
You might be tempted to think, statistically such a flood would be unlikely to occur again anytime soon, but nobody knows the future. The weather patterns of the earth are changing, with overall warming, more hurricanes, and patterns of increased rain in some areas and decreased rain in others. So I decided not to just hope there wouldn’t be another flood.
Steps Taken to Protect the House from a Flood
I designed and built a two-foot wall running around the back half of the house—only back half because the house has a walk-out basement. The wall itself is 160 feet long, not including the three openings that allow people to walk from the backyard to the back door of the basement.
This wall was no small effort. Here are some of the things we had to do:
- Where the wall meets the concrete foundation of the house, holes had to be hammer-drilled into the concrete, and then reinforced bars of steel inserted and angled 90 degrees upward into the concrete of the wall. This results in the wall being fastened to the concrete of the foundation.
- Two truckloads of concrete were required to make the wall.
- Many lengths of reinforcing steel had to be purchased, carried, cut, and bent. Heavy.
- Before the concrete could be poured, plywood and wire frames were constructed to support the shape of the initially liquid concrete as it was poured.
- Where the wall and foundation came together, the joint was strong—because of the steel bars, but not watertight. So a seal had to be created by pouring clay and dirt on the backside of the wall—facing the creek—from the top of the wall to the dirt at about a 45-degree angle. This dirt and clay seal would then prevent rising water from forcing itself between the concrete wall and foundation, and would enable the water to run downstream, away from the house.
- Twenty tons of fill dirt were trucked in.
- All the dirt was shoveled by hand into carts, carried to the back of the house, shoveled again into place, and compacted layer upon layer along the entire wall.
- 200 ground cover plants were seated in the fill dirt, so they would spread and create a more attractive appearance than the glare of red Georgia clay.
- 100 bags of mulch were spread all over the dirt slope, to prevent erosion of the slope and loss of the ground cover.
- Concrete portals—or entryways—had to be constructed at each of three openings that enable people to walk from the backyard to the door of the bottom floor.
- Hundreds of sand bags were filled, so they could be used to stop rising water from pouring in through those walking portals I just mentioned.
- I constructed two frames to hold the sand bags, and covered them with two big tarps, because sand bags deteriorate when exposed to sunlight, even indirectly.
- Water lines had to be dug up and re-routed and capped as we encountered them while constructing the portals and compacting the clay.
- Five deep holes were dug adjacent to the foundation in strategic places, to allow the placement of sump pumps that would be capable of removing water in rain and flooding from the house side of the wall to the outside of the wall, keeping it dry.
- Five sump pumps were purchased and fitted with the adaptors and pipe and fittings that would enable them to move water away from the house.
- A generator was installed to the natural gas supply of the house, so that if the electrical power went out in a flood—which would not be unexpected—we’d have the power to run the pumps. The generator automatically kicks in and supplies the entire house within seconds of an interruption in commercially supplied electricity
- Uncounted extension cords were purchased solely to stay with the sump pumps for when the need arose.
- Hundreds of power and hand tools were used.
- Who knows how much effort was involved, and sweat, and hours, and aching muscles?
- A written plan was created and tested, so that in the event of flooding, there would be no time wasted in a crisis figuring out what needed to be done and in what order. In rising water, we would only have to take Steps 1-2-3-4-and so on.
Why am I telling you all these many, many time-consuming steps? Because they all had to be done well before a flood occurred. If I waited until there was a flood before I did anything, there is no way I could prevent the bottom floor of the house from being covered in water, which would badly affect the flooring, the walls, and more.
Whether or not you’re a Bible reader, the story of Noah is a wonderful metaphor. When did Noah build the ark? BEFORE the flood—well before—not as the waters were rising past his knees, at which point it would have been too late.
When to Prepare a Child for Life's for "Floods" (Difficulties)
When do we need to prepare ourselves for the difficulties and crises that WILL occur in our children’s lives—and in our own? BEFORE the crises—as much as possible. If we wait until circumstances are difficult enough, there is nothing we can do but suffer and sometimes clean up the mess.
I’ve been alive long enough now to watch what happens when people wait until the rain is falling fast and long. I have warned many parents that if they didn’t address a particular behavior when the child was FOUR, this child was guaranteed to be very badly affected over the years: perhaps chronic anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, cutting, personality disorders, and on and on.
Simply put, if we don’t address things while kids are young, often they end up in a living hell—personally, in their careers (or lack thereof), and in whatever relationships they have.
And then I’ve watched the parents separate—roughly speaking—into two camps: those who listened to the instructions that could help their child now and long-term, and those who decided that taking action was just “too hard.”
When parents do nothing, their children experience some combination of all the conditions or consequences I just named, and many more. We talked about them in the Parenting Training:
- They become homeless.
- They are institutionalized after multiple suicide attempts.
- They drive while drinking or stoned, and die in accidents because their judgment is impaired.
- They go to prison.
- They have children of their own and multiply the misery and suffering several-fold.
And all this happens because the parents did nothing when their children were THREE to prepare for the floods. Not an alarmist. I’ve seen everything I’ve described many, many times. It’s heartbreaking for everyone.
No matter who you are, or where you live, or how blue the sky might be right now, the rain WILL fall. And at times it will accumulate into streams, rivers, and lakes. And the rising water will begin to make life very difficult for you.
You MIGHT survive by moving to higher ground, or stacking sandbags, but eventually the water will reach you, and people will drown. Start building now—an ark, a flood wall, sump pumps, whatever you can.
How to Prepare a Child for Life's "Floods" (Difficulties)
How? Remember that long list I went through for what was required to prepare for a literal flood? Every parent needs to visualize their own list with their child. You prepare for a flood:
- Every time you’re kind to love a child
- Every time you’re patient
- Every time you read a story
- With each assignment to do a responsible thing
- With each instruction about how to do some task (with loving tone)
- With each instruction about how to be loving to a sibling or peer
- With each touch
- With each patient look and kind tone when they make a mistake
- Every time you apply a consequence when the child is unloving or irresponsible, despite your having repeatedly used words to teach.
- Every time you’re consistent with follow-up and consequences and teaching
Every time you do those things—and many more—you’re building and preparing a child who can be happy in the world. You’re changing the world. Even better, as you do all these things, YOU and THEY are becoming happier right now.
Our lives are much more than preparation for floods. We’re here to be happy, to have fun, and we can do that while we’re building and preparing. I had fun WHILE I was shoveling, cutting, carrying, pouring, and building in my backyard. So can you.
Start building now. Eliminate every obstacle to building—zero tolerance, as we’ve said. Keep going. Don’t stop. You won’t regret all the efforts you make every day—over and over—to love your children and to help them become loving, responsible, and happy.
