Confidence and Calmness
Surveys indicate that two-thirds of Americans are afraid of deep, open bodies of water, and 46% are afraid even of the deep end of a pool. People are afraid of drowning, which sometimes makes teaching them to swim a difficult proposition.
I spoke with a professional swimming instructor, who told me that she had learned that the most important quality for a swimming teacher is calmness. Another word for that might be confidence.
On several occasions I have taken my grandchildren to a pool and encouraged them to jump off the high dive board (10 feet high, or 3 meters) into the water. They have been as young as two or three years old.
When I instructed them to jump while I was safely sitting on the side of the pool, they absolutely refused to make this jump, which appeared to be impossibly high to them at their age and size.
If, however, I jumped into the water immediately below the end of the diving board, and calmly beckoned them to jump to me, they always jumped—and usually immediately. They felt that I was there with them, and they could sense that I was calm and confident, feelings which passed on to them.
Fear vs Confidence
Now imagine a swimming instructor who is afraid—of failing, of the water, of anything—trying to convince a beginner that swimming in the deep end would be safe. Or imagine my grandchildren’s response to me if I had been anxious or aggressive in my instructions for them to jump.
Fear is even more infectious than confidence. In the short run, it’s the most powerful motivator on earth. If we're afraid, we can ONLY inflame other people's pre-existing fears. If we’re afraid, nobody cares that we might be trying to help.
And it is the same with loving and teaching children any principle. If we are calm and confident, they will listen, and they will follow our words and examples.
We must find Real Love and confidence for ourselves, so that we can be utterly calm as we love and teach our children. Without such preparation, we will be consumed by our own emptiness and fear, and our children will feel that and discount what we’re trying to teach them.
